How background becomes sub-plot...

    Wren Lorus was, despite her name, anything but birdlike.  She was short, probably no taller than Cerryn's middle brother Julius, who stood just over 5 feet tall.  Wren's hair was black, curly, and trimmed just above the nape of her neck, a style that was not common for women of the confederacy.  Cerryn knew that there were a fair number of female questors, but she'd never met one, and had imagined that they probably looked like the Vendarian Guardian statues she'd seen at the temple, long haired and armor clad rather than short and bulky.  Her face was square and hard, her patchwork skin was darker, more scarred and tougher looking than seemed possible. Though the questor was muscular, it was apparent that she had what Cerryn's mother would call "an embarrasment of blessings", a feature that seemed particularly out of place on the squat warrior.  Cerryn's attention was drawn to the livid scar that ran from slightly behind the ear down to the base of her chin.  It was ragged and raw, barely healed, and looked more torn than sliced.  She shuddered as she tried not to imagine what had caused it. 

     In developing Cerryn's past and fleshing out Imperfect Hope, I'm introducing a lot of detail to the questors of the Eagles Forge Monastery.  Wren Loren is an aide to the questor general who has come to Whiteport looking for the questor-candidate shown to him in his visions from Valnar.  Two children, typically aged 9-11, are chosen each year (Cerryn is 8) and are brought to the monastery to begin their training.  Wren, as a senior female questor, will act as a mentor toward Cerryn during her early training at Eagles Forge.  Confederacy (and pre-confederacy kingdoms) traditions hold that only rarely will a child shown to the questor-general turn down the honor, and that the parent's opinions are not heard.  Part of the conflict I'm tossing out early is that Cerryn's father, the Baron of Bruils (and confederacy council-member) would keep his daughter out of the monastery (he's politically/matrimonially motivated).  Cerryn's mother, though she'd much rather keep her daughter out of the questor's life, recognizes that pitfall of trying to create an exception for her own daughter. 

     I'm laying the groundwork for events some 15 years down the road that will lead to the political embarrassment of the baron that will provide the framework for Min's manipulation of the council later on.  The Baron, though nominally a good leader of his realm, has a blindness toward the effects of favoritism, and later on will attempt to influence the path of Remy's career.  The resulting scandal will force the baron to resign from the confederacy council, and bring his (rather more easily manipulated) brother into the council where Min will take advantage of him.

     A lot of this background/subplotting I'd only just skimmed over in the original Imperfect Hope outline, I'd mentioned a scandal, but had done nothing to detail the players/events that led up to it.  I'd only just started fleshing it out as I started deepening the characters around Cerryn's early age.  By tying Cerryn's, Remy's and Baron Nallory's tales together, I'm hoping the story will feel more "real".  I've other background items that are coming forward into the story, presenting opportunities to draw the reader into the tale more deeply, such as why Randir fears the Il'cha bonding so much, and why the walls he puts up between himself and Cerryn cause her to react in the manners I'd put forth already in the first draft.  Having shown her reactions to her brothers similar actions years past, her actions should now make sense without paragraphs of explanation.

If I show the causes clearly enough.
If the causes are memorable enough to be remembered.
If I...  Stop with the IF's already.  Write, Jim, and worry about the details later.

Anyway, lots to work on.  I'd wanted to comment more on the previous weeks posting, and may still later this week (musings on who's reading and why), but for now...

CLear skies,
Jim

Oh, what to write about? (No balloon tales, please)

Unlike many other blogs out there, I won't comment on the obvious.  (I hear a chorus of cheers out there...)

On the other hand, I want to step away from writing commentary for a day or two.  (yes, I'm making progress for those who are worried.)  I scratched my head for quite a while, thinking about what I should write about.  Past topics came to mind, including musings on personality again (but I immediately started linking it to writing, so I dropped it), Adventures in Handymanland (but nothing has broken lately, and all maintenance chores of late have been uneventful things like raking leaves), or the FAA (but I don't want to write about stupid today, so...)  So, forgive me if I meander while I seek a focus.

I've been wondering who has actually been visiting my blog.  I know a couple of you have commented to me, some privately thru email (thanks, Matt), others directly on comments (Art and yarnspinner on wordpress, Lou, Jeff, AML, and others at blogspot).  I know from my statcounter that there are several other regular visitors, but I've never been able to lure them in to comment, or even identify themselves.  I wonder if they are folks I know who want to remain anonymous, or if they are strangers who, for whatever bizarre reason have kept up with these random musings of a slightly mad air traffic controller who imagines himself a writer.  I suppose it's even possible that my mystery visitors are folks who I knew in the past, whom I've lost touch with, and are perhaps curious if "old what's his name" ever did anything with his life.

Statcounter logs visits to my blog and identifies from what part of the country (or world) they have come from through IP identifications.  I'm not convinced it is terribly accurate, for example, when I visit my blog from work, it identifies me as coming from Oklahoma City, OK (which make a bit of sense to me, since a lot of the FAA's computer services are routed through OKC.)  Others seem to jump all around, there's a verizon sourced visitor who's logged as being in Washington State some of the time, California other times.  There are a couple of visitors from the UK (or maybe one who uses two different ISP's).  Someone in Iowa, another in Florida, and...

Then there are the odd visits.  I've had visits from Japan and China, Saudi Arabia (wonder if that's a US serviceman) and a couple of times, visits from Columbia. 

It makes for an interesting puzzle, I've been able to guess who some of the visitors are by linking a posting time for a comment to an ISP listing, except some of your ISP's change IP's regularly.  For example Lou's comments, though they all identify from Denver, have no common IP to label.  Anchorage, on the other hand, is a stable IP, and knowing that, I can tell when my brother visits, even if he doesn't always comment.  If folks don't comment, however, I've no way of identifying them, other than guessing.  My visitor from Iowa for example, I've no idea, there's never been a comment linked to that visit time.  Interestingly, Iowa's ISP name is constant, but for a time this year, according to statcounter, they came from New York.  Unless that's someone else entirely (though I suspect it is the same person, because of the regularity of the visits).  Are we confused yet? 

Is this important?  Not really, except in a curiosity sense.  Some regular visitors I know found me because I emailed most of them and announced my start up.  Others arrived (on wordpress) because of tag-searches (when I label a posting, others who look for posts at wordpress with that label may be directed to my blog).  However, other visit reasons are a complete mystery.

So, I'm going to ask the question for the regular readers who didn't find Doriltales through my direct email contact:  How did you find D'oriltales?, what were you looking for?, and why do you keep returning?  Post a comment, anonymously if you wish, and satisfy the curiosity of this developing writer.  I promise not to use your answers for any illegal or immoral (or even ill-advised) activities.  ;-)

Beyond my own curiosity, I wonder what you want to know about.  My profile is a bit vague, I'm not even sure if anyone's looked at it since I first put it up some two years past.  Thus, part two of my questions, is there anything that you want to ask?  I'll answer most questions, so long as it doesn't involve credit card numbers or the secret rituals of an air traffic controller.  ;-)  Let me know...

Clear skies,
Jim

Progress continued

     Over the weekend, I set in on Cerryn's tale, reenvisioning Imperfect Hope's start by starting the story 20ish years prior to the events at Mud Bay that set the story in motion.  Cerryn, one of the two main protagonists in Imperfect Hope, is an 8 year old baron's daughter, about to be "discovered" by the Questor General of the Eagles Forge Monestary.  She starts the tale looking for her brother, 6 year old Remy, the youngest child of the Nallory clan, leaders of one of the provinces of the Western Marches.  With this beginning, I feel that I'll be able to develop her character more naturally by the time she meets Randir, as well as lay the structure for the sub-plots that are an important part of Imperfect Hope.

     Remy is a new viewpoint character, one who will have a more important role in the events following the end of IH part 1.  I'm introducing him now, however, in order to put into play some of the confederacy politics that I hinted at in IH.  Remy, as youngest son of the Baron, is expected to follow the traditional path of a baron's non-inheriting sons, and serve the Baronry as a military commander.  However, this youngster, it turns out, is drawn to the see, and at a crux point in his story (prior to Mud Bay and concurrent to a political time bomb that Nestor sets off that discredits Cerryn's family.)  Remy, by going to sea with one of the trade houses, turns his back on family politics, but his role in IH part two will have impact on the Empire's plot. 

     Meanwhile, I'm going to develop Randir in a similar method to Remy and Cerryn.  Developing the character of a k'tath over time will make the character more personal, and will give me a chance to exhibit the major differences in Humanish and K'tath cultures.  I'll be able to introduce the concept of Il'cha mates, which will go a long way toward explaining his attitudes toward the developing relationship with Cerryn late in Imperfect Hope.  Cerryn's attitudes will also be developed in her own story. 

     As I mentioned, I tossed my early effort to write Cindas opening frame story, at least until I can have finished first draft of the early part of the tale and have a better understanding of what I am framing.  So, with the tossing out of 850 words, I still managed a net gain of nearly 3000 words over the weekend, and I spent quite a bit of my writing time polishing up some storyline concepts, so it wasn't all writing.  It may not seem like much, but my attitude is positive, and my outlook is hopeful (if imperfect).  Now to deflect those electrons...  (so I don't get negative...  ;-)   )

     Unrelated to writing, I'm fighting an urge to comment on the stupidity of recent FAA moves...  For now, I'll just say that, even though I agree that we need to drag our atc system into the 21'st century with some much needed upgrades, the way they're going about it is incredibly dense.  But I guess I expect that, after 22 years in the FAA, my cynicism is well founded.  The bureaucracy of the federal Gov't just doesn't lend itself to well-thought out improvements.  Instead, we're getting a radar/computer suite shoved down our throats, the interface of which was designed by software designers who have little to no real experience on what is important to an air traffic controller.  As a result, if/when ERAM is implemented, I will be able to demonstrate 5 different ways to print out NOTAMS (notices to airmen)(something I've never had a need to do in 20+ years), but nearly every command I use to call up important information that I typically need in seconds, (and that I can now do with a button push, 3 numbers on a keypad, and a mouse click) will require anywhere from 2-4 menu/scroll downs/mouse clicks on different parts of a 30 inch computer screen, and sometimes a half dozen + keystrokes on the keyboard.  ARGGGH!

     Anyway...  Don't worry, the controllers will make it work.  We'll just end up sitting in a corner at night after our shifts, rocking back and forth and babbling... Oh, I already do that.....  ;-)

TTFN
Jim

False starts, new starts.

     Last weekend, I put in some good time writing on saturday by starting in on what I'd envisioned would be the new starting point for Imperfect Hope.  I continued the experiment that concluded my first draft of IH by beginning with Cinda's first person, folksy viewpoint providing a revised frame story for the entire IH series.  However, by the time I'd finished writing that night, I began to have second thoughts about the experiment.

     Cinda's viewpoint, as a frame story for IH v-1, seemed to work.  Her voice brought an immediate sense of some of what was going on, and as the closing scene for IH, part one, felt like a good, emotional cliff hanger.  However, as the beginning frame for events taking place 20 years earlier, it lacks impact.  Perhaps this is because I wrote the frame story for v-1 after I'd finished the first draft, and this time I was starting with the frame.  Perhaps it just isn't the start I needed.  Regardless, I was very unsatisfied, and sunday afternoon I deleted the scene and toyed with other ideas.

     After tossing around a mental football, I decided I'd write the first draft of Cerryn, Randir, and Remy's tales (they lead in to the old start of IH by showing the main characters as they develop) without building the frame first, and then go back and see if first person Cinda can then frame the story successfully.  While I tossed around ideas, I put together a more detailed time line for each of the main characters, and revisited my outline/scenes.  IH v-2 is back on the front burner.

     One change I'm making to my working habits this time around is that I'm giving my Inner Critic a more active role.  The pre-story I'm working on is essentially another first draft that I'm tacking on to IH v-1, but I'm going to let myself revise this time around.  I'll also work on first rewrite of IH v-1 on occasion, though I'm going to go slowly, rather than a rewrite, I'm going to tweak some revisions in as I make changes to the storyline in part one.  I'm still planning to do a complete rewrite, but that will begin as I finish up part one and have a complete story to do.

     Another plan, as I start getting some rewritten scenes finished, I'll be looking for some readers to give me some initial comments.  Rather than post my story online (which messes with some aspects of selling first publication rights should I succeed in getting a saleable product), I'll email segments to individuals who are interested.  I've gotten a couple of offers for help over the last year, but I'll make an official volunteer solicitation announcement later this fall when I'm ready.  In the meantime, I'll toss out excerpts once in a while...

     As I mentioned, vacation left my head more clear than it has been in months.  It's amazing how much mental clutter I pick up from the day to day routine of being an air traffic controller.  I hope Irma and I get a chance to take some weekend mini-vacations in the coming months to keep my head unmuddled.  Maybe we'll go visit the Stanley Hotel and see if the ghosts want to come out and play again...  ;-)

     Anyway, ATC duties call, so time to step away from the keyboard...

TTFN
Jim