It's Done! Well, first draft, anyway.
Wow. Productive weekend, I ground through the last two scenes, and added another to the first chapter to tie first scene in with the last one. As a result, I consider first draft, Imperfect Hope, Done! As I'd promised myself, I printed it out (125 pages of single-spaced, which corresponds to about 250 pages of typical paperback.) There's lots of problems with it, but it is after all, a first draft. Anyway, I printed it out, and shoved it in the desk drawer for a few days while I contemplate my next moves.
Certain things leapt out at me that are in need of work during rewrite one: For one, I feel like I need to add another sub plot. Since my original storyline got shortened, the resulting plot is rather thin in places, too direct. Adding content from the empire viewpoint, which I"d been doing these last two weeks leading up toward closing the final chapter has helped, but something is missing. I''ve two main ideas, one is an expanded role for Major Vellars, militia commander at Mud Bay, I've presented him as a rarity in the confederacy militia, a competant soldier who has managed to turn the typical city militia into an actual useful force. He'll eventually be drawn into the politics of the council in part two, perhaps I can start playing up that sub plot in part one by building a storyline around him. My other idea involves an as yet unidentified character, mage by trade, who'll play a significant role in Half Moon Harbor in part two, where the empire's plan comes together. He might be an associate of Randir and Cerryn, He might be a scholar thrust into a leadership role, or he may be a curmudgeonly old mage (well into his high nineties in age) who'd rather just stay at home and make beer, but those damned Impies will ruin everything. I'm going to play around with ideas for a while...
I surprised myself when I finished the final scene. Originally, I'd intended to place Randir in the hands of the K'tath for healing, and have Cerryn head back to track down the empire spy. However, I couldn't make a suspenseful ending out of that, once the badly wounded K'tath is in the hands of the kel, with krath healing on the way, what could possibly go wrong? I toyed around with ideas, rewrote the last part of the third to last scene (where Cerryn and Randir arrive at the Inn of the Stumbling Friar), and turned on the chaos machine...
In a wild experiment, I went to present tense, first person narrative, from the viewpoint of an old acquaintance of the IFGS doril folk, Cinda the serving girl at the Inn of the Stumbling Friar. But (I hear Art say) this takes place a long time after Sha'te, umm, what? Cinda is now 91, and has run the Inn for nearly 70 years, at first as Merricks (the original proprietor) only server, then as his wife, then as clan matron. She's raised several children, one of whom now runs the Inn, and grandchildren and great grandchildren. Somehow, she survived the rugged life on the frontier, from back when the IOSF stood all by itself on the northernmost track of the Great Northern Trade Road (back then it was a mud and rut filled track) until now, when a village has grown up around the IOSF.
It seemed to work, but lacked something. I recognized that what I'd done was create half of a frame, a writing technique where the author 'frames' the main story with a different viewpoint. So I went back to chapter one, and wrote a new beginning, First Person Present tense Cinda again. It seems quirky at first, but... Something about it feels right. I'll see how I feel about it a bit later, when I start rewrite.
Anyway, here's a snippet from the end of the first draft, Cinda's viewpoint. Synopsis, Cerryn has brought Randir to the IOSF, hoping to find K'tath healing for him, but there seems to be no hope. She now knows the assassin who tried to kill her is the same person who sent a doomstalker after Randir, and has some sort of tie to the Empire of Tallux, and fears if she delays, she'll miss out on finding him.
Randir's hands are cold, the fever is passed for now, but I know it will return. Outside, I hear the slap of leather and clank of buckles and such as Bernt and Cerryn saddle the grey, and load the pack horse with the some of the rest of her gear that she and Randir had stored here two months past. I wonder for a moment if she'll come in to check on Randir before she goes, but I realize she's closed off her heart, and cannot bear to see what she leaves behind. She won't say goodbye. The horses will be ready soon and she'll be gone, back to Mud Bay to find her vengeance, the vengeance that she believes will heal her. I hold both of the k'taths hands in mine and have a knowing...
A knowing is essentially a vision of the future, and in this case sets the scene for book two. I'll keep that to myself for now...
So what's the next step? I'm going to spend a couple of days just mulling things over, for one. I'll draw up a couple of maps that cover the action areas of Imperfect Hope, that will give me a more solid reference when I do rewrite and tidy up the timeline of character movements and such. I'm going to pull together a bunch of lore and make some decisions about defining in more detail how magic works, the politics of the confederacy and the empire, and put some ideas down about details to start adding in to the culture. Then, I'll read the whole thing through once, mull things over again, then reread it, this time with a notebook and pencil to note changes and such. I'll probably have figured out what I'm adding by way of sub plot, and I'll revise the outline of book two to make sure the whole storyline still makes sense. Then I'll begin rewrite...
By the way, I'm specifying rewrite, as opposed to revision, because I recognize that a lot of what I've written so far will change quite drastically. WIth paper copy on one side, and the notebook with changes at hand, I'll open a new file in my writing program, and rewrite, allowing creativity to change whole scenes when necessary. Yep, all 85k+ words retyped, and more content added. Only after that's done will I move to revision, where I'll start changing paragraphs, sentences, and words. Guess the works not even half done. Oh well.
Anyway... First Draft is Done!. Now where'd I put that 25 year old Macallen Scotch, I'm going to need it.
TTFN,
Jim
Wow. Productive weekend, I ground through the last two scenes, and added another to the first chapter to tie first scene in with the last one. As a result, I consider first draft, Imperfect Hope, Done! As I'd promised myself, I printed it out (125 pages of single-spaced, which corresponds to about 250 pages of typical paperback.) There's lots of problems with it, but it is after all, a first draft. Anyway, I printed it out, and shoved it in the desk drawer for a few days while I contemplate my next moves.
Certain things leapt out at me that are in need of work during rewrite one: For one, I feel like I need to add another sub plot. Since my original storyline got shortened, the resulting plot is rather thin in places, too direct. Adding content from the empire viewpoint, which I"d been doing these last two weeks leading up toward closing the final chapter has helped, but something is missing. I''ve two main ideas, one is an expanded role for Major Vellars, militia commander at Mud Bay, I've presented him as a rarity in the confederacy militia, a competant soldier who has managed to turn the typical city militia into an actual useful force. He'll eventually be drawn into the politics of the council in part two, perhaps I can start playing up that sub plot in part one by building a storyline around him. My other idea involves an as yet unidentified character, mage by trade, who'll play a significant role in Half Moon Harbor in part two, where the empire's plan comes together. He might be an associate of Randir and Cerryn, He might be a scholar thrust into a leadership role, or he may be a curmudgeonly old mage (well into his high nineties in age) who'd rather just stay at home and make beer, but those damned Impies will ruin everything. I'm going to play around with ideas for a while...
I surprised myself when I finished the final scene. Originally, I'd intended to place Randir in the hands of the K'tath for healing, and have Cerryn head back to track down the empire spy. However, I couldn't make a suspenseful ending out of that, once the badly wounded K'tath is in the hands of the kel, with krath healing on the way, what could possibly go wrong? I toyed around with ideas, rewrote the last part of the third to last scene (where Cerryn and Randir arrive at the Inn of the Stumbling Friar), and turned on the chaos machine...
In a wild experiment, I went to present tense, first person narrative, from the viewpoint of an old acquaintance of the IFGS doril folk, Cinda the serving girl at the Inn of the Stumbling Friar. But (I hear Art say) this takes place a long time after Sha'te, umm, what? Cinda is now 91, and has run the Inn for nearly 70 years, at first as Merricks (the original proprietor) only server, then as his wife, then as clan matron. She's raised several children, one of whom now runs the Inn, and grandchildren and great grandchildren. Somehow, she survived the rugged life on the frontier, from back when the IOSF stood all by itself on the northernmost track of the Great Northern Trade Road (back then it was a mud and rut filled track) until now, when a village has grown up around the IOSF.
It seemed to work, but lacked something. I recognized that what I'd done was create half of a frame, a writing technique where the author 'frames' the main story with a different viewpoint. So I went back to chapter one, and wrote a new beginning, First Person Present tense Cinda again. It seems quirky at first, but... Something about it feels right. I'll see how I feel about it a bit later, when I start rewrite.
Anyway, here's a snippet from the end of the first draft, Cinda's viewpoint. Synopsis, Cerryn has brought Randir to the IOSF, hoping to find K'tath healing for him, but there seems to be no hope. She now knows the assassin who tried to kill her is the same person who sent a doomstalker after Randir, and has some sort of tie to the Empire of Tallux, and fears if she delays, she'll miss out on finding him.
Randir's hands are cold, the fever is passed for now, but I know it will return. Outside, I hear the slap of leather and clank of buckles and such as Bernt and Cerryn saddle the grey, and load the pack horse with the some of the rest of her gear that she and Randir had stored here two months past. I wonder for a moment if she'll come in to check on Randir before she goes, but I realize she's closed off her heart, and cannot bear to see what she leaves behind. She won't say goodbye. The horses will be ready soon and she'll be gone, back to Mud Bay to find her vengeance, the vengeance that she believes will heal her. I hold both of the k'taths hands in mine and have a knowing...
A knowing is essentially a vision of the future, and in this case sets the scene for book two. I'll keep that to myself for now...
So what's the next step? I'm going to spend a couple of days just mulling things over, for one. I'll draw up a couple of maps that cover the action areas of Imperfect Hope, that will give me a more solid reference when I do rewrite and tidy up the timeline of character movements and such. I'm going to pull together a bunch of lore and make some decisions about defining in more detail how magic works, the politics of the confederacy and the empire, and put some ideas down about details to start adding in to the culture. Then, I'll read the whole thing through once, mull things over again, then reread it, this time with a notebook and pencil to note changes and such. I'll probably have figured out what I'm adding by way of sub plot, and I'll revise the outline of book two to make sure the whole storyline still makes sense. Then I'll begin rewrite...
By the way, I'm specifying rewrite, as opposed to revision, because I recognize that a lot of what I've written so far will change quite drastically. WIth paper copy on one side, and the notebook with changes at hand, I'll open a new file in my writing program, and rewrite, allowing creativity to change whole scenes when necessary. Yep, all 85k+ words retyped, and more content added. Only after that's done will I move to revision, where I'll start changing paragraphs, sentences, and words. Guess the works not even half done. Oh well.
Anyway... First Draft is Done!. Now where'd I put that 25 year old Macallen Scotch, I'm going to need it.
TTFN,
Jim
3 comments:
Whenever you get to the reader-input stage, I'd love to help. In addition to being an avid reader, I'm a professional proofreader/editor with a great friends and family rate (often free!).
I will gladly take up your offer of help, when I get to that stage. My plan right now is to do the rewrite thing, as I grind through chapters, I'll farm out either scenes or chapters for comment. Mostly I'll be looking for comments about the story/pacing/plot/etc, the grammar and speling(tm) will come during revisions 1 thru 99. ;-) At some point after rewrite, I'll run a full manuscript out for comment as well, but that'll be a while yet...
TTFN,
Jim
Hey, what's this about "a curmudgeonly old mage (well into his high nineties in age) who'd rather just stay at home and make beer"?
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