December already?

     I gave in and wrote about stupid FAA tricks last week.  Had I only waited, I would have had much more to write about this week.  Ah well, I'll put last weeks antics in the composting bin and perhaps dig it up in a few weeks after it has finished moldering...

     Imperfect Hope has slowed somewhat, mostly due to shorter writing sessions of late as other things to deal with continue to crop up.  I did give in and do a bit of a rewrite on pieces of Randir's first scene, there were some poorly blocked out sections that just didn't mesh with what I'd written about K'tath culture.  However, in rewriting, I discovered some new questions that I mulled over this week, aspects of the k'tath culture that need detail.

     Basically, I was starting Randir's tale "in media res"  (the story has already started, and I pick up the action in mid-act) during his naming quest.  The naming quest is another aspect of the k'tath that I'd noted decades ago in Brandis' IFGS history, that Kel and Sen went on a quest early in their youth to discover their "true name".  Other than this aspect of k'tath culture existing, I'd never gone beyond "this happened, and so now...".  However, Imperfect Hope offers me a chance to show this detail much more colorfully.

     One idea that emerged from the primordial soup I call "my imagination" was that all K'tath had a childhood name that stayed with them while they were young.  When the time comes for their name quest, their krathen family performs a tiny bit of krathen magic that effectively takes the name from the younglings memory (not completely, but enough that during his journey, he'll have more and more difficulty remembering his child-name until he discovers his adult name, at which point child name is forgotten completely.  I've combined that with the coming of age aspect of the youngling learning whether he will become Krath, Kel, or Sen during the same quest, it is tied in (some as yet undecided way) to the selection/bestowment of the adult name.  In Randir's case, I'm still writing the naming quest scene, so exactly how it comes about is uncertain, I've several ideas competing for the lead right now.  At some point, one will seem to be the best fit, and it will come together.

     This is an aspect of writing that comes up with me rather often.  THough I've the plot line well outlined, event following event etc, I'll be writing, and some small aspect of the scene will take on more and more life as my imagination grabs it and runs with it.  Sometimes it'll be good, sometimes it'll flop badly, and I'll end up dumping several paragraphs during the first draft because it just doesn't fit.  A fair amount of it ends up staying just to see if I can come up with ideas that will make it fit better later. 

     In Randir's opening scene, however, I've pieced together lots of lore from the IFGS D'oril and added much more content.  I'm expounding on the concept that the guardians (Elorna and the others) have moralistic rules that prevent them from interfering directly in the affairs of their chosen people, that the dark guardians (Seta and the others) have the same rules, but are more able/willing to bend them, which tends to give them temporary advantages in the god wars that they wage/play in.  The balance expects that "the bad guys" will cheat, and that "the good guys" have to work extra hard to overcome.  That, in essence, is one of the themes of Imperfect Hope. 

     I think the concept that "the bad guys cheat, and good has to work extra hard as a result" is a hidden theme in many fantasy works.  Sometimes it's hidden under the guise of "evil takes the easier path, but in the end...", sometimes the badguys find a loophole in some natural law.  In my case, I've set up a higher authority that the guardians and dark guardians answer to, this mirrors to some degree basic human civilization.  Criminals ("evil") will bend or break the rules to get what they want, sometimes because they don't care, sometime because they assume they won't be caught, and sometimes just because they want to evoke a little chaos in the world.  Am I equating my dark guardians with criminals?  Not really.  Just pointing out some behavioral similarities.  I think.  I'll have to take half my brain out and have a dialogue with it.....

     Anyway, more to come, I'm sure. 

Clear skies,
Jim

How background becomes sub-plot...

    Wren Lorus was, despite her name, anything but birdlike.  She was short, probably no taller than Cerryn's middle brother Julius, who stood just over 5 feet tall.  Wren's hair was black, curly, and trimmed just above the nape of her neck, a style that was not common for women of the confederacy.  Cerryn knew that there were a fair number of female questors, but she'd never met one, and had imagined that they probably looked like the Vendarian Guardian statues she'd seen at the temple, long haired and armor clad rather than short and bulky.  Her face was square and hard, her patchwork skin was darker, more scarred and tougher looking than seemed possible. Though the questor was muscular, it was apparent that she had what Cerryn's mother would call "an embarrasment of blessings", a feature that seemed particularly out of place on the squat warrior.  Cerryn's attention was drawn to the livid scar that ran from slightly behind the ear down to the base of her chin.  It was ragged and raw, barely healed, and looked more torn than sliced.  She shuddered as she tried not to imagine what had caused it. 

     In developing Cerryn's past and fleshing out Imperfect Hope, I'm introducing a lot of detail to the questors of the Eagles Forge Monastery.  Wren Loren is an aide to the questor general who has come to Whiteport looking for the questor-candidate shown to him in his visions from Valnar.  Two children, typically aged 9-11, are chosen each year (Cerryn is 8) and are brought to the monastery to begin their training.  Wren, as a senior female questor, will act as a mentor toward Cerryn during her early training at Eagles Forge.  Confederacy (and pre-confederacy kingdoms) traditions hold that only rarely will a child shown to the questor-general turn down the honor, and that the parent's opinions are not heard.  Part of the conflict I'm tossing out early is that Cerryn's father, the Baron of Bruils (and confederacy council-member) would keep his daughter out of the monastery (he's politically/matrimonially motivated).  Cerryn's mother, though she'd much rather keep her daughter out of the questor's life, recognizes that pitfall of trying to create an exception for her own daughter. 

     I'm laying the groundwork for events some 15 years down the road that will lead to the political embarrassment of the baron that will provide the framework for Min's manipulation of the council later on.  The Baron, though nominally a good leader of his realm, has a blindness toward the effects of favoritism, and later on will attempt to influence the path of Remy's career.  The resulting scandal will force the baron to resign from the confederacy council, and bring his (rather more easily manipulated) brother into the council where Min will take advantage of him.

     A lot of this background/subplotting I'd only just skimmed over in the original Imperfect Hope outline, I'd mentioned a scandal, but had done nothing to detail the players/events that led up to it.  I'd only just started fleshing it out as I started deepening the characters around Cerryn's early age.  By tying Cerryn's, Remy's and Baron Nallory's tales together, I'm hoping the story will feel more "real".  I've other background items that are coming forward into the story, presenting opportunities to draw the reader into the tale more deeply, such as why Randir fears the Il'cha bonding so much, and why the walls he puts up between himself and Cerryn cause her to react in the manners I'd put forth already in the first draft.  Having shown her reactions to her brothers similar actions years past, her actions should now make sense without paragraphs of explanation.

If I show the causes clearly enough.
If the causes are memorable enough to be remembered.
If I...  Stop with the IF's already.  Write, Jim, and worry about the details later.

Anyway, lots to work on.  I'd wanted to comment more on the previous weeks posting, and may still later this week (musings on who's reading and why), but for now...

CLear skies,
Jim

More background

     I've spent the last week answering some of the questions I raised for myself in reading Imperfect Hope v1.0.  Several pages went into detailing the history of the confederacy a bit more, putting a more specific timeline in place and naming/defining the different regions.  The east and west marches have taken on very different flavors, important for other tales in the D'oril world, as well as having a mild effect on the politics of the Empires plot.  I put some thought into the reasons for the various regions coming together over the last 120 years, covering the influence the triad enclaves (the three main religions of the confederacy) that they've wielded in influencing the course of the region, as well as the power that the trade consortiums wield in their own way.  The barons, dukes, and other regional rulers owe much of their continued success to the wealth that the merchants bring, as well as the knowledge that the enclaves provide, and as such, have been guided by them over the decades.

     This doesn't have a direct impact on Imperfect Hope, but it shapes the characters, especially Cerryn, who's father is one of the barons of the western marches.  It also has helped me define the role of the questors, the adventuring hand of the enclaves.

     That info is important for my writing the new first five chapters.  Cerryn's early life at her fathers keep, and her subsequent education at the Eagles Forge Monestary, will lead her to investigating the chaos forest (temporary name for a place ruined by excessive wintergem harvesting), and ultimately introduce her to Randir.

     Randir's tale begins with his own journey as a kel healer, and the internal politics of the K'tath as they wrestle with their desire for separatism versus the need to engage help from the south in keeping their own wintergem forests secure.  When a small clique within the sen, guided by Elorna, decides to recreate the companions of Elorna from Brandis' time (despite the perceived problems they brought back from the empire lands), Randir is sent south to an enclave university to educate himself, as well as the scholars of the enclave about the k'tath and the wintergems.  Eventually, Randir and Cerryn will meet, and begin their journey towards the beginning of Imperfect Hope V1.

     Once again, it may seem confusing, but I've a strong sense of where to begin the tale now, and how to proceed.  I've a bit more groundwork to lay, including a rough outline of the new start, and... Soon, I hope.

     In the meantime, I'm playing with some opening ideas, either Cinda in my frame story concept, or foreshadowing the empires plot with...  Something dark and dire.  Perhaps when I finish this scotch...

TTFN,
Jim

The Big Picture, or, boy did I underestimate how much background I need.

     Imperfect Hope, v2 is still in the planning stage.  This last week, I spent quite a bit of time taking notes on the story as it is, from revising the opening chapter storylines, to asking myself questions about what/why/where/who/how with regards the overall world picture.  As a result, I've been focusing on history of the world (part 1???).  There are a lot of questions to be answered.

     First of all, I'm going to have to come up with a catchy name  ;-).  D'oril is really the only named area I've got, and it's a relatively small area, albeit one with huge storytelling impact.  The confederacy, lands south of D'oril, occupy nearly half of the continent, with barbaric wilds to the south of that.  However, Confederacy is, right now, more of a descriptive of the government form than a land name.  I have to name the continent, name the confederacy, and name the baronries, trade consortiums, and enclaves that compose the confederacy.  The south, as yet unimportant in my story, just took on a level of importance as I've referenced it in the confederacy timeline that details the relative youth of the confederacy, so I've got to define it with more than "here there be barbarians". 

     Compare that to the continent of the massive Empire of Tallux.  It (the empire) has a name (from the founding emperor), though the continent, regions, and so on are completely undefined.  In Imperfect Hope, I've a scene that takes place in "Imperial City", but otherwise I've never detailed any aspects of the land.  Until this week, anyway.  It too has been given a timeline, and some basic regions have been crudely sketched out to give weight to events referenced in IH.  However, much more is needed if I'm going to really flesh out the antagonists, I need to have a good sense of the political environment back home if the characters are going to be believable.

     I've gotten a very rough sense of history for both continents down, the Empire back about 650 years, the lands of the confederacy back only 200 years.  Oh, and the k'tath legends of D'oril that in my oral storytelling from Brandis go back "thousands of years".  Blending the time scales gives a date for Sha'te Valley as having occurred 68 years prior to the beginning of Imperfect Hope.

     Reading the first draft set me up to ask a lot of questions, seeing things that need explanation (either in the story, or in the background so I can remain consistent).  The gaps in the first draft are significant, but seeing them has helped me start refining the story to make it viable.  The ruling council of the Confederacy, previously undefined, has to take a shape in order to make it clearer to me how and why the empire spy has manipulated certain members to achieve empire goals.  In turn, the empire goals have to be better understood in the context of the history of Tallux, as is the reason they're attempting the subterfuges at Mud Bay.  I set the time gap since Sha'te, and as a result, I've been able to explain the changes in K'tath culture since then, which clarifies Randir's presence in the story.  And understanding Cerryn's fathers position in the confederacy allows me to zero in on Cerryn's early attitudes and mores, which makes her actions in Imperfect Hope understandable. 

     It is a lot of work.  Some of it I'll flesh out while I work on the rewrite, but a couple of things feel like they need to be addressed first.  I'm making a list of my questions, and I'll sort them into "flesh out now" and "work on later".  Hopefully the "now" won't be too big...

     In the mean time, wish me luck and good scotch...

TTFN,   Jim.

    

Adding Content

     I've made a decision.  Imperfect Hope, first draft, needs more content.  Specifically, I've added to the outline what turns out to be four chapters to be added to the front of the existing first draft.  I'm planning to rewrite Cinda's opening monologue to reflect the new beginning, and then weave together Cerryn's tale of growing up in the Eagle's Forge, the Vendarian training temple (think Shaolin monks from the old tv series in a vague way), then gradually drop in three other storylines, one involving Randir and his journey to becoming a companion of Elorna, another involving Cerryn's older brother, and the third involving Del, a retired adventurer turned brewmaster.  Cinda's opening monologue will mention Del, one of the old ones she remembers, effectively tying his story line to the long term tale.  He'll also eventually link up with Cerryn's brother, but in the opening chapters, He'll start out linked with her, and then his story will diverge as hers starts to converge with Randir.  It all sounds so confusing, the way I'm describing it, but in my own imaginations, it seems to make sense.  Of course, IH v1.0 seemed to make sense, and it needs a major reworking.  But, hey, that's what rewriting, as opposed to revising, is for.

     I am puzzling on exactly how to start Cerryn's tale.  Some time ago, I wrote an exercise introducing Cerryn to a visiting monk from the Eagles Forge, that might make for a good start.  If I do work from that initial point, I could then drop her brother in (an older brother, something of a black sheep, who Cerryn looks up to (and later, her idealized memory of her brother will undoubtably affect her questor training in some manner)).  From there, I might skip years to touch upon her questor training before introducing her to Randir (an introduction I'd already mentioned in IH v1.0 as musings from Randir's point of view.) 

      The as yet unnamed brother's tale will revolve around his own path of growth to where He'll take a center stage in IH part two in resisting the Empires efforts in Moon Harbor.  The black sheep aspect of his tale may involve his interest in the confederacy navy, something his traditionally oriented father would strongly disapprove of.  That would put him in the right place during the empires initial moves off the coast.  I'm still mulling over it, though, so this storyline may change drastically.

     Randir's tale would begin at a later point than Cerryn's tale, and give me the opportunity to show the k'tath culture, and his own path toward Companion of Elorna.  This line is as yet the most nebulous, but it's also the one I've probably got the most background material from which to draw.  More will come, I'm sure.

     As I mentioned, Del's tale will be referenced by Cinda, in a completely revised opening first person/present tense monologue that will encompass foreshadowing and the like.  From there, I'll refer to Del's story toward the end of the beginning four chapters, setting the stage for his link up in the primary story with Cerryn's brother.  His role will expand in book two.

     All this gets me to ask myself, how many major and minor characters can I safely run in this story.  I've read some books (Harry Turtledove, for example) who will weave 7 or 8 major characters viewpoints together, but honestly, sometimes I get lost.  In looking at IH V1.0, I was running 3 major viewpoints, and 4 minor viewpoints, however two of the major viewpoints spend much of the time together (Randir and Cerryn).  In version two now, I'm looking at 4 major viewpoints and 5 minor views, which pare down to 3 and 4 through much of the bulk of the tale.  In addition, 1 of the minor viewpoints is a 1 scene cameo, and another of the minors is the Cinda "Frame" story.  I don't think this is excessive, but...  I'll see how it looks when I put it together.

     So.  Time to get back to writing.  I'll see if I can grind out a new start to Cerryn's tale over the next couple of days.  Wish me luck...

TTFN,
JIm

Inner Critic, Meet Imperfect Hope

     I've taken two weeks off from writing, except for the occasional idea storm and background notetaking.  I finally started my first reading of Imperfect Hope over the weekend.  As I'd planned, my first read through will be sans-notes, I just want to get an overall feel of the story.  Later, I'll have notepad at side as I pick through the individual scenes.

     Inner Critic has taken to the reading with a harsh eye.  I have to admit, I started out dismayed by my writing, but I have to keep reminding myself, this is only the first draft, it's far from complete.  Lots of description will get added later, as will cleaning up of dialogue, developing consistency in voice and mannerisms and adding enough background.  My first reading is going to concentrate on the overall storyline, is it viable, what is weak, what needs further development, what just fails completely.  After I read it through, I'll sit down and have a conversation with the author...

     However, I've noted one major flaw during my first reading already.  If this is a ten chapter book, it feels as if you've begun reading it in chapter four.  Essentially, I've dropped the reader into the middle of the story.  The maturation of the characters is too far along for my original story concept, and I make assumptions that the reader will understand things I've referenced that really should be shown or explained well before this point in the tale.

     This isn't the disaster I first felt it was, because as I looked at how I've started things, I realized that there are a couple of ways I can add the missing content.  I'm going to belay deciding exactly how to restart the beginning of IH until I've finished my first reading.  Once I know where I'm going to restart, I should be able to churn it out fairly seamlessly, since I know where the story needs to go. 

     I've also been considering my observation from a couple of weeks ago that I needed some more content, sub-plot wise.  I'm mulling over one possibility, that involves the older brother of Cerryn, serving as an officer in the confederacy in Half Moon Harbor.  Since I'm almost certainly going to begin Imperfect Hope with Cerryn's early years, I can introduce her older brother and show how his influence has influenced her own development over the years.  I can then put him in the story logically, and tie in that storyline with the whole empire plot line.  As a side note, Del asked about the cantankerous old mage/brewer concept.  Though I don't want to turn any IFGS-era characters into a comical stereotype, I do have an idea building around a pseudo-Delanore mage from the old days who is forced out of happy retirement (from adventuring) by the heavy hand of the "Damned Impies"  (old-timey nickname for the imperials of Sha'te fame).  Having him reluctantly join up with Cerryn's brother in resisting the Impies in Half Moon Harbor seems like a good idea right now...  (Famous last words...  "Here, hold my beer, I want to try something, seems like a good idea...")

     Finally, a work-related note:  This has been a really ugly summer for bad weather, aviation wise.  This week in particular has really chewed us up.  Anyone out there know how to placate the thunderstorm gods???

TTFN,  Jim

Three: The crucial conflict.

     One scene of the final three has been completed over the weekend.  It's a crux encounter, where our heroes have a fatal (near fatal?) encounter with a doomstalker.  Yep, those nasty beasties have been drawn out of the IFGS D'oril and given a new life, and a shiny new set of leathery wings.  The empire spy, afraid of being connected to the empires no-longer-clandestine activities in the northwest confederacy, summons one of the half-demonic blood-hounds to eliminate the one person who can link him to the raiders, namely Randir of the k'tath. 

     In the IFGS D'oril, doomstalkers were used in a minigame to harry the pc's into hurrying a quest, they were monsters that would come back time after time to tirelessly pursue their prey, each time stronger than the last, unless (and in the minigame, until) the PC's gained some Elorna-blessed water and learned the ritual of closure to finally stop the doomstalker.  They hunted in a pack of three, and by the end of the game, took some major effort on the part of the PC's to finish them off.

     In literary D'oril, aka Imperfect Hope, part one, Min summons a single doomstalker by asking a boon of the shadowlord (a different sort of shadowlord than the Lor shadowlord that Ray has tormented us with for so long).  They were used at Sha'te, according to IH lore, and though Randir had never faced one before, he knew of it's only weakness, susceptibility to a certain sort of Elornan magic.  He and Cerryn manage to finish off the stalker, but...  What is the cost.

     That will be the wind down scene I'm working on next.  Cerryn had learned from Randir of the connection between Min, the raiders who struck at Mud Bay (names of towns will probably change), and with the doomstalker's arrival, she makes the final connection to the Empire of Tallux.  She's torn between making sure Randir gets to D'oril for the krath healing he needs to remove the shadow curse, and hunting down the assassin she blames for his death (as yet premature, but it looks probable.  You know how those writers like to keep you in suspense).  With the arrival of the kel group led by J'lan, who takes Randir's near-dead body back to D'oril, she makes her decision, and her goodbyes, not realizing that the shadow curse resides within her own soul. 

     The final scene will set the stage for book 2, with admiral Tash setting the scene for the empire's next move, Randir's fate hanging in the balance, and Cerryn beginning her journey back to find the empire spy and, besides obtain her personal revenge, stop the Empire of Tallux from whatever their plan may be.  This scene is, for now, the least well concepted scene right now, it's still rather formative.  I'm planning on outlining book two after I finish first draft, but before I start in on rewrite, so I'll let first draft of this final scene take it's rough form on the fly.  Chances are it will change later, but that's the whole point of rewrite.

     I'd begun to doubt my decision to split the story, for one, I was considering my new end concept a bit of a cop out.  But recent books I've read actually have followed this format (for example, the Seeker series by...  don't help me, I'll think of his name...  (dang, I'll figure it out later)) with some very good success.  In several of these books either Richard or Katlyn's fates have been left unclear at books end, to be used as lead in during the followup book.  As to book length, I suspect I'll have two very reasonable 250 page books by the time I'm done.  Wish me luck...

     Hope everyone had a great fourth of July, we certainly did.

Clear skies,
Jim

progress and history: Caution, IFGS D'oril spoiler (of sorts)

     I've added a scene to chapter one, and another scene to chapter four, setting up the revised plotline for Imperfect Hope.  I feel that both scenes are a bit weak, mostly because I was jumping back and trying to fit the new pieces in place.  I know it will come together during rewrite, though.  In chapter 7, I've inserted a new scene that will complete the foreshadowing and turn the next three scenes into a more suspenseful ending, and just started work on the next scene.  This scene will set the tone for the climax, so I'm approaching it with a bit of caution.  Regardless, I feel I'm on track to finish Imperfect Hope by mid July.

     One of the additions I'm tacking on is to increase the shadow emperors (as Prable the second is known outside the empire of Tallux) power and influence, and setting up the means by which he and the previous emperors have controlled their vast conquests.  It ties in with the wintergems, corrupted by shadow, which is a natural resource that they (the empire) have almost depleted within their own lands.  Thus the means for them to maintain power of the lands they already hold depends on them expanding their empire over more lands that hopefully have their own supply of wintergems, (or the as yet undefined alternative that I've decided exists in a vastly different form waiting to be discovered).  Up until know, I'd treated the emperor as a distant figure that didn't actually take part in the tale, but with the new direction, I've introduced him to add dread and a higher-order threat to the protagonists.  This actually ties in with my intentions re: the aftermath of Sha'te Valley.

     You seen, I'd written some notes some time back about sha'te's aftermath, and indicated that the failure of the empires army in D'oril lead to a revolution/coup attempt as the shattered armies under Yam'to's lieutenants made their way back to Tallux.  Feeling badly used by the emperor, Beauty, as leader of the Demonguard, managed to find a loophole in his conditioning/curse that allowed his human half to override the restrictions placed on his demon half to disobey the emperor.  During the long retreat, He and the few survivors of the demonguard shielded the van of Yam'to's army from the pursuing K'tath and allies, and more than once, was left to fend for himself in order to allow some favorite of the emperor to escape.  Once they made it back to safety, He took it upon himself to depose the emperor, the ensuing generation of conflict ended with a new dynasty being founded, Prable the first.  Prable succeeded in part because he called upon the shadowlord for support, not just Seta.  (I suppose Shadowlord vs Seta is sort of sunni vs shiite)

     Prable the first would redefine the empire's strategy,while keeping the ultimate goal of obtaining freer access to D'orils wintergem supply, he would consolidate his hold on the rest of the empire.especially the eastern seaboard which suffered from few useable ports, too many pirates and raiders, and poor infrastructure (roads and such) that linked with the heart of the empire.  He would strengthen his navy as part of his efforts, regaining control of the eastern coastal regions, and begin a campaign across the ocean, in line with his intent to avoid the frozen overland approach to D'oril.  He took the long view, without actually putting any specific plan in motion towards D'oril, he set the stage for his son, trained in strategy as well as shadow theology.

     Anyway, with this background on the empires shadowlord connection, I've set the stage for a confrontation in Imperfect Hope, where the protagonists face their nemesis again, and learn much more about the empire's long term strategy, all in the shadow of the Inn of the Stumbling Friar. Yes, it still exists, 75 years after Sha'te Valley.  I wonder who the owner is these days...  ;-)

TTFN,
Jim

Decision time

    I've made more progress on Imperfect Hope this week than most weeks over the last few months, even with my indecision over the path I'm to take.  Basically, I'm looking at a natural break point in the story line that would allow me to split the novel into two, and possibly allow me to add the prequel to round out a trilogy.  It's not unheard of for a writer to hash out the middle of a story first, nor is it unusual for the story to take on much more than originally intended.  I've been looking ahead at the outline, and wondering if there is another possible breakpoint a couple of chapters ahead, and it doesn't look so.  On the other hand, the balance between this part and the finish would be a bit off, about 2/5ths in part 1, 3/5ths in part two.  I'm wondering how successful I'd be at cutting part two, but I've recently added some strong content ideas to part 1 that gives me hope.  Perhaps there's a lot more where that came from when I work on rewrite number one.

     So...  Decision time.  Imperfect hope stalled out very badly over the last few months, but I'm back on track, putting weekly word counts back up.  If I keep up this pace, I should be able to finish the next chapter in 2 or 3 weeks if I add content and make an ending for book 1.  What then...

     Listening to myself think (outside the random chaotic thoughts of "Hey, look at the squirrel" and such), I've made my decision.  Imperfect Hope, part 1, first draft, is nearing completion.  I"ve got two scenes I'm going to add in Chapters one and four to foreshadow my coming cliffhanger, and I'll rework the final three scenes in chapter 7 to make it much more suspenseful.  I'm not going to set myself a time limit, since I'm not sure how much actual change I"ll have to do to make it a viable finish for IH-1, but...  With any luck, August will begin the rewrite.

     Oh...  Did I mention how I intend to work on revisions.  Well, when I finish first draft later in July, I'm planning to print the whole thing out, double spacing, and then...  Bind it together and stuff it in a thinking drawer for two or three weeks.  While it's put away, I'm going to have fun, draw maps and make history for D'oril, revise and refine my overall time line, and generally step away from Imperfect Hope to refresh my thoughts.  Then...

     I'll reread the whole thing, start to finish.  No editorializing, no revising, just read.  Then, make notes to myself.  Then, out comes the pen for line by line commentary and I read it again.  Find discrepancies in character behavior or appearance, history, settings, so on.  Identify weak dialogue, description, or mood.  Don't correct, just comment, then put it aside, perhaps for a few days. When I'm ready, I'll start writing again, with a fresh file on the computer.  No preordained sentences or structure, just use the first draft print out at my side as a guideline.

     Why this way?  Because I know how I rewrite.  I can take a paragraph on the computer, revise it on the spot, and...  I'll improve the paragraph, but not affect the strategic sense of the novel because I'm focused on one paragraph.  That kind of revision is important, but that will be during the final couple of workovers.  Right now, I need to look at the big, Novel-Wide picture.  In addition, I'm putting in the break period to allow myself to be purely creative with background material that will help me when I rewrite.  I know there are novel wide flaws in the first draft, things that I need to fix across a couple of chapters and/or many scenes, and trying to fix it paragraph by paragraph will just reintroduce a whole new set of discrepancies.  My notes should hold me to my overall vision.

     I'm excited about finishing the first draft.  It's a milestone that seemed out of reach only a few months ago.  I'm excited about the rewrite.  Now to swallow that lump of fear that's gathered at the base of my throat...

TTFN,
Jim

What? A light at the end of this tunnel?

     Progress on Imperfect Hope continues, over the last week, I finished another scene, and ground through about half of the next.  Meanwhile, I went back and looked at the big picture, from storyline to outline to see how things are going.  I've realized two things, that I'm nearing the half way point of my original storyline, and that I'm also nearing a natural break point.  If I were to split Imperfect Hope into a duology, or add the "origins" prequel to make it a trilogy as I've been considering, the next three scenes would close out the middle of the three books (or the first of two).  As a result, I'm eyeing the next three scenes with the possibility of considering it "the end" of my first draft of my first novel.

     Okay, that's bigger than I thought, I could finish my first draft in a couple of weeks!  Originally, my story estimate was about 90k words, right now, to finish my original outline it will take about 150k words, even without adding the prequel.  If I end up with the chapter I"m working on, I'll be back to about 85-95k words, depending on how wordy I get with the next couple of scenes.  As I said, this chapter seems to make a natural break point, though I'd have to add some foreshadowing to draw the tale to a satisfying ending and draw interest in the next book. 

     I am not sure if closing out is the correct thing to do yet, I've a couple of concerns about the viability of the storyline as standalone if I end with essentially a cliffhanger.  The initial plot is unfinished, the heroes have not resolved any of their initial problems, though they have uncovered a major plot by the empire.  They barely survived, and recovery for them is still in the air (at least as far as the current chapter is concerned), let alone stopping the empires spy.  If I end with this next chapter, I am fairly certain I could make the ending make sense, and with the proper foreshadowing, build strong momentum for part 2 (3?).  I probably would have to add a scene or two to close out empire activities (from their point of view), perhaps set the beginnings of the next stage of their plot in motion before closing out with our heroes splitting up in D'oril.  I'm intrigued by the possibility.

     However.  Am I being too stereotypical?  Perhaps, some good duologies and trilogies end with foreshadowing, unfinished business, and cliffhangers.  I suspect that many more bad ones try to do the same thing and fail miserably.  Am I "giving up" too easily, tired by the long drag through chapter 7, and dreading the next 8 chapters as too much to chew?  Is my inner critic (hah, he's not capitalized, that must mean something...) subtly trying to take over.  I'm going to mull these, and other questions, over the next few days while I finish chapter.scene 8.2.  I have made my own comparison to my d'oril minigame efforts leading up to Sha'te.  In the IFGS games, I allowed for minor PC victories in each minigame, but left the PC's with many more questions and worries each time, building toward Sha'te, where the conclusion (as far as the PC's were concerned) settled affairs in the north for a time.

     In the meantime, I'm going to finish chapter 8, scene 2 as is, then hopefully be able to look at 8.3 and see what kind of changes I'd need to make if I go for the finish early.  I suspect it will require some considerable changes in format, but nothing plot changing.  8.4 would have to be a change of viewpoint, back to the empire's minions to close out their actions for IH-1, set up the plot for IH-2 and such.  8.5 would then close out IH-1, back in D"oril, where I'd have to add some content, possibly in the form of a vision from Elorna, or prophecy news from the Sen, or perhaps just a reasoned realization from our heroes as to what's happening.  Another possibility would be to add another scene, taking place at southport, which is the next major action point of the empires plan.  At any rate, dark clouds on the horizon promise black times for the confederacy, but are our heroes ready to take their place on the stage of fate?  Or are they just plain tired...

     Stay tuned while I argue with myself while walking around the FAA air traffic control center, there may be yelling involved.  Hope the neighbors don't call the Longmont PD to resolve a domestic dispute...   ;-)    

Progress in writing

     As  I look back at the last few months, one thing has leapt out at me regarding my writing.  I've been stuck on the same chapter of Imperfect Hope.  In fact, I've been stuck on one scene in particular.  Well, for what it's worth, I managed to close it out and start in on the next chapter.  Interestingly, the words seemed to leap out of me when I started in on the new stuff. 

     That tells me a few things.  One, I suspect the scene I was working on most grindingly will most likely get changed drastically when I go from draft to first rewrite.  If I couldn't find the enthusiasm to finish it, chances are a reader will bog down as well.  I opened up a window for inner critic to peek at it, and got some observations.  The scene lacks drama and passion.  It actually plays like a bad soap opera for much of it, the segments where Cerryn and Randir, recovering from the causeway fight, lay around the militia post meeting well wishers and...  Ewwww.  No wonder it bored me.  I'm going to leave it in for now while I forge ahead, but I suspect I'll have a much more interesting take on it when I go back for rewrite.  Something with a bit more urgency.

     ANyway, Cerryn finally decided to take action, and chose to drag Randir's sorry butt back to D'oril so the healers there can figure out what's wrong with him.  Little do they know that Min, that dastardly empire spy, has set into motion a plan to eliminate anyone who might be able to identify him, namely Randir, who is slipping in and out of a shadow coma because of Min's efforts to break the stalemate at the causeway.  Randir, meanwhile, keeps forgetting to tell Cerryn that one of the visitors they had while he was semi conscious was the assassin who nearly killed her.  Does this confuse you yet?  Actually, it's setting into motion the core of the next few chapters, when Cerryn vows revenge on the assassin and goes after him alone, not realizing the peril she's in (and that Randir tried to warn her of).  Ahh, the joy of a plot outline.....

     A side note, with the writing logjam broken, I've thrown some ideas down on paper about Sha'te Valley, the short story.  I don't want to break the momentum on IH yet, but when I need a break, I think I'll rough out a short story idea.  It'll help me consolidate my thoughts on time lines in D'oril, anyway...

     Our backyard owl's been visiting at night intermittantly.  One of these nights when I hear him, I may just pull out the binoc's and see if I can spot him.  Until then,

Clear skies,
Jim

Owls and coffee

     Good morning...  A great horned owl has taken up residence (I hope permanently) in one of the cottonwood trees that line our backyard.  I first heard him or her last weekend when his booming challenge echoed through our open window at 430 am.  Honestly, it was a great way to wake up.  Since then, we've not been awakened that early again, but I have heard him most mornings around 600am as Irma and I are sipping our coffee and getting ready for the day.

      I hear the gasp of "600 am?" out there.  I actually only have to be up before 6 am for work two days a week, but the rotating schedule that the FAA asks us to follow really messes up my sleep patterns.  Working 2 or 3 night shifts and 3 or 4 day shifts a week, I find that I'm groggy the mornings after a night shift no matter what time I get up.  So I rise around 600 (or 520 for those days when I have to be in for the early shift) and just muddle through the grogginess with as near a bottomless cup of coffee as I can find.  Sometimes I even make myself useful...

     Our great horned owl neighbor does bring to mind one of the early bits of lore I'd tossed about in the D'oril series, that of Elorna's connection to owls.  In some ways, it was a direct theft from greek mythos, Athena and Owls, but I'd always kept most of the greek mythos connection well hidden.  Sha'te was one opportunity for me to showcase the differences, I introduced the Shianna.

     Shianna are very loosely based on animist amerind mythologies where every animal had a "leader", almost (or directly) a god.  Coyote, for example, or Father Bear, of the various tribal mythos, come to mind.  In the D'oril world, the shianna were animistic spirits that represented all animals of that species, from chipmunks to owls to elk.  For the most part, their connection to the k'tath was incidental, even as their connection to the humanish folk to the south almost non-existent.  Once in a while, though, they'd get involved, usually at the request (or suggestion) of Elorna herself. 

     In Sha'te, the 4 shianna I introduced  were attempting to help the leader of the k'tath, the Sen'anth, escape the shadow scouts that had been placed on her trail by Phorix in retaliation for the use of the seeker by the PC's in Heartbow and Seeker.   The PC's, with the concurrence of the k'tath, had used the seeker to try and assassinate the "unbeatable general" Yamto before he could lead the empire's army against the K'tath.  Though he lived, he didn't participate in Sha'te, and in response, the new general of the empire's expeditionary force sent a large contingent of shadow scouts to hunt down any of several leaders of the k'tath.  In a sense, this act doomed the empire to failure at Sha'te, for it deprived the army of it's eyes as it approached the battlefield.  (History buffs will recognize the similarity to JEB Stuarts ill-advised antics prior to Gettysburg, where, in an effort to regain favorable press, he undertook a wild ride "around the union army", which garnered the press, but deprived General Lee of valuable intel on the actions of General Meade in the days leading up to Gettysburg.  Yes, this similarity was deliberate)

     At any rate, the Shianna had a brief introduction at sha'te as a minor force.  They bore a faint relation to the ranger skill, Aspect of the Beast, and in the game, lent some otherworldly skills to the 4 heroes they were helping.  I vaguely recall one of the shianna was Wheer, the owl, I think another was deer, but for the life of me, I cannot remember the others.  (help, anyone?)  Each lent it's power to one of the PC's for the crux encounter, and added a bit more to the final encounter of day two, but beyond that, I didn't develop them much at sha'te.

     In writing, the shianna are out there, but as yet, I"ve not put them into the storyline.  I'm sure they'll show up someday, some how, somewhere.  It'll probably be an owl, waking our heroes up at 4:00 am.  Knowing the typical heroes of D'oril, he won't stop grumbling until the next winter.....   ;-)

TTFN,
Jim

Sha'te, Part 2. Delving into day one...

Ah hah, the readership came alive with my posting about Sha'te Valley.  The comments have encouraged me to delve deeper into Sha'te, as well as the whole IFGS game writing schtick.  For readers who aren't IFGS familiar, bear with me, I'm writing about live action role playing.  (A lot more info can be found at www.ifgs.org) Now to lure Ray in...

     Keep in mind that all this occurred many years ago, and that my recollections of the writing and sanctioning process are probably suspect.  I've also changed my view of the storyline of D'oril over the years, most significantly in the last couple of years as I've been writing, and preparing to write in retirement.  I'm sure those who participated, both as players (Del and others), or as game staff (Art, I know you're out there, mostly lurking in the wordpress mirror site) will have different recollections, I hope you'll share them. 

     I think I ended up with more than 100 pages of game copy, by the time I was done writing.  I had another 50 or so pages of notes and ideas that I'd kept to myself as background, plus all the materiel in the many minigames that preceded Sha'te.  The original concept of Sha'te was much more grand that ended up being produced, but IFGS reality being what it is, the desperate battles of a few heroes against an army just can't occur.  The biggest innovation was the 4 passes concept, where each team would stand alone against detachments of an approaching army.  But even there, I had grander ideas that never made it to game copy.

     I'd wanted to find a game site where four "passes" would exist that the teams could block.  Ideally, they would be far enough apart that it would take a few minute for pc's to move from one to the other, but hours for the approaching NPC army to do the same (The advantage of interior lines, a military tactic).  I wanted the teams to know of each others presence, and I'd envisioned them arranging to send messengers back and forth with an HQ set up central to all four passes where the LM's would huddle over a map, considering the scouting reports coming in from the K'tath kel warriors, and shift reinforcements back and forth to meet the varying threats.  There are many real-world gaming problems with this idea, though.  For one, I'd have needed many more NPC's that I felt I could gather.  Secondly, the game site I used didn't really offer a place that would work. 

     Sha'te had a theme for each day.  Day one's theme had to do with desperate last stands.  On the strategic scale, never seen but referenced throughout the day by NPC to PC lore, had to do with the massive battle within Sha'te Valley itself, as the Kel of the K'tath stood up against the armies of the empire in an effort to keep the enemy from penetrating through the valley into the south, where open spaces would return the advantage to the empire with their superior numbers (Envision the spartans against the persians at Thermapole.  On an operational scale, the players were to demonstrate the same theme with their 4 heroic "8 against many" stands within the 4 valleys while protecting the k'tath rear areas (Think 20th Maine regiment on little round top at Gettysburg protecting the flank of the union army).  And on the tactical, the 4 "heroes" made their own "1 against dozens" stands trying to delay the pursuit of the k'tath sen'anth by Phorix's shadow-scouts as she tried to get to the kel command center.  WIth this theme repeated three times at different tactical levels, a desperate last stand that, at the end of the day, left the final issue in doubt, I felt I had a storyline and concept that would really resonate with all players.

     During game writing, I knew that the massive battle within sha'te itself could only be referenced by lore, and I wanted to have in-character reports delivered to the pc's to add to the flavor, but I just didn't have the NPC's or time to carry through with this.  On the operational level, my desire to see a PC command center where the pc's would coordinate the defense of the 4 valleys fell apart because the SC felt that the resulting situation, with messengers flying back and forth from the valleys, would lead to chaos.  I'd envisioned a scene where one valley after another would report a major assault massing in front of them, request help, and each of the other valleys would send 1 or 2 of their team members to help.  The diminished teams would face a smaller assault while their roving reinforcements were away.  It was the SC's view that such cooperation between teams would be impossible, some teams would send virtually their entire fighting complement as reinforcements, while others might ignore the problem entirely.  Balancing the fights at the remaining valleys would be impossible, since the SC didn't want to have the NPC coordinator adjust the balance on the fly.  In addition, the requirement for NPC's under this scenerio would have been severly high, I think I'd determined that I would have needed more than 50+ fighting NPC's to properly challenge the teams in this manner.  Instead, I formed what NPC's I had into several smaller groups that would rotate through the valleys, hitting the teams sequentially.  Each team was completely independant of each other.

     The end result was that each team got battered, showed some success and some failure.  In my original design, I wanted success to be "all of the passes held, although it was a very near thing, only the timely arrival of PC reinforcements kept the empire from getting it's troops into the k'tath rear area."  If one or more teams had allowed a breakthrough, I had to have an in-game reason why it didn't turn the tide of the overall battle, and my idea during initial development was that the K'tath would have reserves in place, allowing them to shore up the hole, but taking away from PC resources on day two.  I wasn't able to come up with a viable way to alter the second day of a major game in such a drastic way to the SC's satisfaction then, though I'd like to think, given time and a freer hand from the SC, I could have.  As a result, I had to write second day game copy as if a breakthrough had occurred, regardless of PC success on day one.  But, because I'd had to go to the 4 independent passes concept, it was a pretty good bet that one of the teams would collapse under the assault, so as far as game copy was concerned, everything went according to plan.

     How much more exciting would the game have been if I could have kept to my original design.  PC's would talk about how the arrival of Evro and Delanore at the last minute turned the tide against the roman legion, or how their absence at the other front nearly cost everything, but Napadoc pulled a fast one and...  And, how would I have changed day two if a breakthrough had occurred.  More things to write about.....

Anyway, more to come on this subject,
Clear skies,
Jim

    

Sha'te Valley, an after action report.

      The IFGS world of D'oril began as background material for a character history.  I've touched a lot about it in the past, how it grew from there to a simple world, to a neighbor of the Land of the Seven Tribes, (and eventually splitting off so I can write without dealing with other authors.)  I guess I'm keeping the ties to the IFGS alive, in part because there are times I want to (read wish I had the time to) pick up where I left off.  As far as the IFGS version of D'oril goes, however, the world stopped at the end of Sha'te Valley,  Except I kept some things going in Brandis' character history.

     Melding Brandis' history with Sha'te and the aftermath doesn't really take much effort, since almost all of Brandis' adventures within the IFGS took place outside of D"oril.  I created the reasons he couldn't return, and fed tidbits of D'oril lore to other PC's when I played him.  I've never really had a problem with time and the IFGS, though, for I took a page from the master, Ray Michel, and allow that "Time passes differently within the worlds of the IFGS".  SO, Brandis can stand at Shatterman Pass, go through his torment following that as his soul darkened from the non-stop war and shadow threat, return home just long enough to obtain kath healing, and head back into the southern world.  Nothing happened after Sha'te.

     Except in my head.  I had jotted down game ideas, one that would have taken place months after Sha'te, another that would have picked up almost immediately afterwards.  Both got through the outline and detailed storyline phases, but I never got the the encounter definition phase, mostly because the FAA (and real life) began to consume my life.  I've kept those notes and storylines in some folders, ready to be resurrected.

     Sha'te, in itself, is an entirely different animal.  The story for that developed over the first couple of years of writing minigames, I wanted to write a game outside of the closed world of D"oril that the general populace could participate in, yet retain the flavor of the closed world that I (and the players) enjoyed.  In the minigames, I was ablt to tailor encounters, and plots, to specific characters, and pull the characters emotions this way and that.  This was to be an issue that would plague Sha'te, to this day, I'm not sure how successful I was at presenting the story I'd written for Sha'te, as I saw it. 

     One reason for my uncertainty is that, quite honestly, there were more than a few players who didn't enjoy Sha'te.  I've felt that one of the main reasons for their dislike was because they'd not been immersed in the lore and storyline for 2 summers prior to the game, like the 12 or so players (who became the loremasters and their seconds in SHa'te)  had been through the Heartbow and Seeker miniseries.  Another reason has to do with logistics, I'd envisioned encounters that just didn't translate to the limited resources of IFGS games (although the Lor games approached what I'd hoped to do).  Finally, The storyline itself was forced into the IFGS format in order to make it a playable game, and suffered greatly in the translation. 

     The end result was a series of compromises that, although necessary for the game to be sanctioned and in order for it to be playable, weakened the storyline, and hence the impact that I'd envisioned for the game.  One aspect of Sha'te that I'd not touched upon outside of a close few friends, was that SHa'te was written with an emotional plot.  I wanted the characters to feel emotions that changed from Up and excited at game start, to worried, stressed, and perhaps fearful through day one, to emotionally spent and exhausted at game down on day one.  Day two began with uplifting news that would boost the morale, allowing the characters to fight through to win the day.  An emotional roller coaster.  Except that only a few characters got into the depth of feeling that I'd intended.   I'd been able to manipulate pc emotions in the minigames, but...  It doesn't work on a grand scale.

     To this day, Sha'te remains poorly understood, at least by my standards.  What the players accomplished in their minds, and what was accomplished as far as the K'tath were concerned remain separated by a grand canyon.  The epic scale of the Empire of Tallux's efforts were altered by a couple of dozen adventurers, not so much by the military defeat they suffered at the hands of the Kel warriors and the adventurers, but by ripples of cause and effect that have yet to be fully revealed.  My writings today take Sha'te into account, and at least in my current project, shape much of what happens. 

     I'll write more about Sha'te with my next post, perhaps a retelling of what happened, and hints at the changes that are still happening...

Clear skies,
Jim

Round 1--- Jim 2, Inner Critic 1

     Round one of the bout:  I think I'm ahead.  I ceded the first minute of the round to IC, and let him convince me that a large section of stuff I'd written from november thru march really didn't fit, style wise.  It was stilted, disjointed, and just didn't feel right.  Inner critic moved it to the dump file (after saving part in a notes file for future reference).  So, word count has dropped to a little more than 64000.  One point for IC.

     However, while IC was gloating over his early victory in the round, I sneaked out on a break at work, leaving him in the control room grousing over the weather while I jumped back in on where I'd left off, some dialogue between Cerryn (one of our heroes...) and the unbeknownst to her villains, Min and his stooge (and presumed boss), the march warden of the western confederacy.  For once, the dialogue flowed smoothly.  In my half hour break, I churned out nearly 500 new words, and rebuilt some badly needed confidence.  More importantly, it felt good.  One point for me, and a bonus point because...  I'm looking forward to continuing tonight at home.  Total, 2 for me...

     During my writing session on a break at work, I noticed that my mood seemed lightened from previous attempts to write at work.  I've a strong suspicion that the headaches that I'd dealt with since late october last year, the ones caused by my vision issues and that I just accepted as part of  dealing with work (or just getting old), has had a huge impact on my desire and ability to write.  Because the headaches were almost always low grade, I'd assumed I could just ignore it.  Coworkers and family, however, have commented that I'd been rather...  Grumpy through the winter.  Yeesh, I never knew. 

     I thought I was normal...  ;-)

Jim

    

Somebody shoot that inner critic...

     My inner critic really laid into me this week, from "this is going too slowly", to "you started in the wrong place, now everything will have to be rewritten when you start at the right place".  I did manage to silence the chorus of "the plot is going nowhere".  I am having a near crisis over the starting in the wrong place, at times I've almost agreed with IC to stop work on Imperfect Hope and start from the beginning.  But...  What is holding me to my original plan is the fact that, dammit, I need to finish the first draft!  Come on, Jim, keep grinding...

     Because of the inner battles, I got little done on word count, though I did flesh out a bit more detail in my notes on where the story goes, both to the ending I'd originally plotted for IH, and through a good portion of what now appears to be part three of the series.  I also pondered some ideas for part one, though nothing seemed to come together yet.  I am going to let my muse wander around that forest, though, see if it can find any magic mushrooms...  ;-)

     While muse was wandering last week, it did unearth another plotline that begs to be written about.  The early empire, centuries before the Sha'te days, faced a long war of unification.  I envision something a bit like the shogunate period in Japan, with an inner conflict over the future of the empire waged between the powerful warlords and the educated scholars, each with their own agenda.  It would seem most logical that the powerful would win, but I've an idea, a larger than life scholar who manipulates politics and religion to build his powerbase such that he rivals the warlords in strength.  I envision this scholar, whether victorious in the end or not, becomes directly responsible for the shape of the coming empire, even though he struggles to prevent its foundation.  For now, this tale goes on a back burner, along with a dozen or so other ideas.

     At any rate, I'm battling inner critic tonight after work.  Round 7...  Wish me luck...

TTFN,
Jim

Writing and rewriting

     First, a correction.  A couple of weeks back, I referenced Foundation, and mistakenly assigned that work to Arthur C Clarke, author of 2001 and many others.  It was Isaac Asimov who wrote Foundation and the books that followed.  Now I'm going to have to go back and reread it (not that that's any real form of punishment)

     It's been almost 2 weeks without a headache. Man, what I'd been missing the last 5 months.

     I've done a little work on Imperfect Hope, added a couple thousand words, though I'm not happy with what I'd done over the weekend.  My inner critic is snarling at me, in part because I picked up where I had left off, rusty and a bit off rhythm, so the writing sounds stilted.  I'm fighting the urge to redo it.  One way I'm considering ignoring the inner critic is to jump ahead to a new chapter, then go back when I'm feeling more in tune with the mood of the writing.  I'll let you know how it goes.

       I"ve resigned myself to the fact that I'm writing the middle part of a lengthy novel that will probably be broken into 3 parts, and that I'd started at part two.  Part one, as I'd mentioned in the past, would introduce the main characters as individuals, then show their paths converging as they got to know each other.  I've some rough ideas for the plot of part one, and I may jot down some more specific notes/outlines as I grind through Imperfect hope, but I don't want to sidetrack myself just yet.  However, depending on how the part one shapes up, Imperfect hope will likely need a good deal of rewriting to bring it inline with what I come up with in part one.  I still intend to finish the first draft of IH before I jump to any other projects, though.  I hope...

Anyway, more to come as I get back into the writing swing of things.

TTFN,   Jim

A short look back.

      Decades ago, I took a creative writing class at CU.  Never mind that the professor (if I recall, a  graduate student who seemed to have no interest in anything except his own writing) didn't like anything I wrote, most probably because he wanted work that matched his own style.  I vaguely recall that there were a few things I got out of the class. 

     Like, be prepared to try explain to a professor the difference between Tome (a large old book), and Tomb (the dusty musty smelly dead place), or just use "so and so opened the book" rather than "so and so opened the tome" and have the professor insist that it should be spelled tomb.  From this experience I concluded that his command of english was...  Flawed.  Despite his degree.  It's colored my view of the higher education cartel since.

     Like, Don't actually present a plot in "creative writing".  The professor wanted stories in which nothing happened.  Like much of the "literature" that is considered main stream by "Those who tell us what to like and write about it in the east coast newspapers".  From this, I concluded that the kind of fiction I liked was dead.  At least, that's what the professor wanted me to conclude.  I'm afraid I kept reading books with  (gasp) Plots...

     Hmmm.  Most of what I seemed to have gotten from that and other college level creative writing courses was negative.  I came away from that experience with no desire to write after all the negative criticism of my work by that particular "Ivory Tower Elitist".  It took me years to overcome that unpleasant taste in my mouth, and even then, only after much conversation with real writers, such as Mercedes Lackey, Robert Asprin, and Mel. White.  Each of them saw something I'd written, crude as it was, and encouraged me to keep going.  I wrote many games for the IFGS, the International Fantasy Gaming Society, games that required a plot so the players could participate in the story, many of them were considered good.  I even got a game of the year award for Piper on the Hill.  From that type of writing I started writing more and more detail about D'oril, and without realizing it, started developing my style.  It only took me 15 years to recognize that my style had merit, and accept it within myself.  I still have battles with the inner critic that the creative writing class implanted in my brain.

     In the last couple of years, as I've approached FAA retirement in a couple of years, I've read a lot about writing, looking for ways to polish that style.  Orson Scott Card, on his website Hatrack.com, mentioned in one of his earliest posts (As well as in the book on writing he authored) that a good writer reads.  And I've read a lot.  I've even gone back and reread a lot of stuff from my college days that I liked,(such as Marion ZImmer Bradley's Darkover novels), or read and scratched my head over, wondering if I liked it (Such as Arthur C. Clarkes Foundation series).  The books and articles about writing have ranged from basics about story structure to the nitty-gritty nuts and bolts about grammar and structure.  My writing technique has improved, I think, writing games for the IFGS probably has done a lot for that, especially in the area of developing plot.  I've been working through a writing exercise workbook on my breaks at work.  Besides working on character, setting, mood and description, my efforts have given me a bit of confidence in my ability to write about almost anything.  Blogging has started my on the track to, if nothing else, writing about just that, almost anything, and to vary my style from serious (see personality topics or D'oril background articles), sarcastic (anything to do with the FAA), to humorous (such as Activationg the Wayback Machine, Mr. Peabody, or Spoonerisms).

     THe only things I've not developed well, yet, are consistancy, and confidence.  I keep blaming the FAA.  Maybe it's time to look in the mirror.  Time to hand the bagpiper that shilling.....

Clear skies,
Jim

Bad speling, and a revisit to the geography of D'oril

     I apologize, my last post included some oddities.  It seems that my scribefire added some unusual spacing when I tried to edit my work last week, placing much of the word earlier through the sentence that followed.  And, tired as I was, I didn't bother with a spell check.  Now I have to describe what that brain fart spelled like.  Perhaps I'd better not.

     Three weeks to the surgery.  Anxiety is building.  Never mind the rational side that understands that it's a simple procedure...

     On to the fun stuff.  I'd touched upon the geography of D'oril a bit back, thought I'd try and expound further on the confederacy, as well as explain my (still in the formative stage) thoughts on the history of the lands.

     The confederacy is split by an extensive mountain range into two halves, the eastern and western reaches (in some of my writing, I"ve referred to them as marches, I'll sort out the naming conventions later).  The western half is heavily influenced by it's sporadic access to the western ocean, and bears a slight resemblence to Norway (Think fjords and rough coastline) and Washington state.  Trade cartels grew from the few widely scattered towns that have reliable access to the ocean, the further south, the larger the towns and greater wealth.  Prior to the formation of the confederacy, these towns were fairly independent of each other, though a few feudal strongholds did form.  As a result, the mercantile cartels wielded (and still wield) a fair amount of influence within the confederacy, they have no direct representative on the council, but quite a few of the barons chosen to represent the different regions of the western marches are chosen because of their strong ties to the cartels.  This is especially true of the south central region, where several large baronries formed out of some very wealthy mercantile families. 

     Further to the south along the western coast, the land becomes less rugged, and a more agricultural and feudal society grew.  Some of the baronries there have a much longer history, and deem themselves "the true center of the confederacy", for at first, it was the expansion of their lands that provided the core of the early confederacy as they linked up with the largest of the eastern duchies.  The traditionalists, as they see themselves, have much less of a tie to trade, and hold a rather dim view of their mercantile-oriented cousins to the north.  The society is one of rigid class distinction, clear patriarchal lineage, and a severe (and successful) military tradition. 

     The southernmost of the eastern reaches are likewise traditionalists, with a much stronger hierachy, where the feudal lords share power with a church-like organization that influences much of the society.  Originally, the religion (and I use this term loosely, for I don't intend to parallel any historical churches) focused on education, especially scientific, philosophic, and magical researches.  A guild like power structure formed whereby the feudal lords each received an appointed advisor from the religious side of society, who often unofficially shared power with the lord, and occasionally even ruled.  The religious power structure began breaking down with the formation of the confederacy, as well as the formation of splinter groups that sprang up with the opening of the frontier to the north.

     It is the northern part of the eastern reaches that had the first (in "modern" times) contact with the K'tath of D"oril.  Early on, it developed a frontier like atmosphere, with riches obtainable, under the threat of the dangers of the wilds.  Think "wild west", gold rushes, timber, wide open spaces.  Into this dangerous frontier came many unhappy with the rigid structures of the south, as well as mercantile interests looking to gain even more wealth.  Here is where the archtypical adventurers of the IFGS came together.  Now I just have to define...  When...

     At anyrate, there's a lot more to it, and I'll post more as I dig through my notes and cobwebs.  Ask away, I'm sure there are lots of gaps, and answering questions will only help me solidify my thoughts...

Clear skies,
Jim

Workings of D'oril, Geography

     If you're a regular reader, you probably already know that the D'oril that I am using for my writing world came to be during IFGS game writing years.  From the D'oril mini-series through Sha'te Valley, and to a lesser extent, Piper on the Hill, I wrote about "The Far North".  Originally, D'oril was loosely attached to the Land of the Seven Tribes, mostly for storyline convenience.  I imagined the divider between the two lands to be represented by the E'tel river, a "Columbia Gorge" type river that in each game, would provide a tangible crossover between 7 Tribes and D'oril.

     Later, I began blurring the boundary.  The Inn of the Stumbling Friar, firmly entrenched on the south side of the river, became a part of D'oril, at least as far as my writing was concerned.  In IFGS/7 Tribes lore, the Inn of the Stumbling Friar was a crossroads near the northern frontier, conveniently located between several other duchies.  I roughed out the area as an important crossroads, settled by Merrick, the founder of the Inn, recently attracting a small community of settlers including blacksmith and such. 

     As I write for myself now, though, I've had to divorce D'oril from L.O.S.T., for many reasons.  One, I need to have total control of all storyline aspects, two, I really can't take the time to figure out whose toes I might be stepping on, and hence who I need to ask permission of when I write outside of D'oril proper.  So, the birth of the confederation, and formation of a new land.

     I do have maps drawn up, and perhaps soon enough I'll digitize them such that I can share here, but for now, a verbal description will have to suffice.  D'oril still resides in the far north, in a region much like northwestern canada, rugged coastal mountains with a dense, almost rainforest like (except for the cold) region inland that compromises the bulk of "D'oril".  Still north of the E'tel river, the rolling hills continue eastward, with the forest becoming less dense as the climate dries out.  North of the forest, plains begin to intrude, the harsh steppes.

     The Confederacy (as tentatively named) is a loose confederation of duchies, city states, and mercantile holdings south of the E'tel.  The couple hundred miles south of the E'tel are very sparsely populated, considered the frontier, The Inn of the Stumbling Friar being one of the few outposts along the "northern Trade Road".  That road links the eastern and western halves of the confederacy that is divided by a mountain range running north/south to almost the E'tel, the Inn of the Stumbling Friar sits at the northernmost edge of both those mountains and the trade road.

     The western coastline of the confederacy is rugged, much like the norwegian coast with fjords and such.  Like the eastern reaches of the confederacy on the other side of the spinal mountains, the civilization level grows as you head south.  There are only a few useable ports/harbors in the northern half of the continent, climate becomes more temperate as you head south, but the coastal waters are considered barely navigable due to the weather and large number of uncharted rocks and islands.  The port cities are the core of the merchant guilds that make up a third of the confederacy's "government", they hold a dear monopoly on trade out of the western harbors.

     The eastern half of the confederacy is the breadbasket of the region, with rolling, partially forested hills and rich bottomlands.  Independant duchies make up the majority of the civilization, with the northernmost town being rather small, though aggressively expansionistic.  The bulk of the confederacy's "civilization" lays further to the south, with towns giving way to cities, trails becoming paved roads, and the frontier like atmosphere in the north getting swallowed up by regional laws and regulation. I've left description of the lands south and east of the confederacy vague.

     Across the western ocean from D'oril and the Confederacy is the Empire of Tallux, and entire new continent.  Though I've defined some basic characteristics, for now, I don't need to know much about it, so it remains pretty vaguely sketched out.  The focus of my first tales will remain on the east...

     Imperfect hope begins on the frontier between Mud Bay, the northern-most town and harbor along the western coast, and the deep forests of D'oril.  Most of the story will remain within the western portions of the confederacy.

     Needless to say, there's a lot more to the geography, and that geography plays a large part in defining the cultures and storylines.  There'll be more to come.....

Clear skies,
Jim