Merry Christmas

     I've found that trying to write between thanksgiving and new years is an exercise in futility.  I'm afraid there are just too many things to get done.  That's not to say it's a bad thing, I'll be the first to admit I love the family gathering, and all the work that Irma and I have to put in to get things ready are worth it.  So, Imperfect Hope has taken a back burner, writing wise.  I have, on the other hand, been mulling over some ideas that seem to have promise.  For example, Remy's tale (he's Cerryn's younger brother, who'll play a more important role in part two) will likely include quite a bit a action at sea as I parallel his, Cerryn's, and Randir's lives while their paths converge.  He's going to have an interesting life at sea while his big sister becomes a questor...

     Randir's tale has taken on some added complexity in my notes, I've cemented some thoughts on how I'm going to foreshadow his relational challenges with Cerryn later on in the tale, by the time he meets her, his fears (shared by most kel warriors of the k'tath) of Il'cha bond pairs ("soul-mates") and the tragedy that almost always dominates their lives make him a reluctant companion.  Cerryn's own experiences will drive her away from him for entirely different reasons based on her own misinterpretation of the life of a questor.  This despite the need for them to essentially create a synergistic team, something that the Valnar (guardian demi-gods) are trying to create by bringing them together in the first place.  Sounds like a soap opera?  Hopefully I'll find a not so blunt hammer to drive this storyline forward when I get to it in the writing stages.

     Anyway, all these thoughts have been bouncing around in my skull while hanging on a ladder 22 feet up in the air clipping christmas lights on the gutter.  In previous years, we've had a routine for setting up our lights, but this year we decided to begin phasing out the old incandescent bulbs and replace most of the outdoor lights with LED-style.  However, I realized early on that I'd have to change the pattern of string alignment, since the bulbs are closer together, strings shorter, etc.  On the other hand I can link more of them together without overloading a circuit.  With the old strings, I'd marked places on the cord where particular strings stretched across the peaks of our roof, so I could clamber across the roof with all the lights, stretch the lines out, and put them up in a short afternoon.  With the new strings, Not so easy...

     FIrst of all, I had to get new gutter clips for the different style bulbs.  Then, because I was linking the strings together differently, I had to experiment with different arrangements until I found an efficient one.  New wall clips were needed, and all this had to work with the older bulbs I was keeping (the christmas train on the side fence, draped lights along the limestone wall, and lighted wreathes beside the living room picture window).  Oh, and the sidewalk lights and crystal angels...(It sounds like a lot more than it is)  TO make a long story shorter, It took three days (2 half days after work, and one full saturday) to get to a working arrangement.  Next year it'll go more quickly.  I hope...  At least my balance is still fairly good.  If not the stamina from climbing up and down the ladder...

     It was worth it.  Our four year old grandson, Adan James practically glowed as brightly as the crystal angels when he saw it lit up last week for the first time.  Ditto his eight year old brother, Jose Antonio, and our granddaughter (also 4) Tatiana (when she saw it a couple of days later).  Oh, and Irma and I are happy with it as well (albeit with a few modifications next year to clean up the window treatments.

     Anyway, we're down to planning christmas eve dinner.  Irma will be doing the Enchilada's, Tamales, and such (the request from half of the "kids"), I'm dry aging the 8-rib rib roast (the request from the other half) even as we speak, and will hit it with the spice rub it wednesday night.  She'll put it in the oven thursday afternoon before I get home, then I'll finish with the gravy and the bearnaise sauce, roast potatoes and yorkshire pudding.  Christmas eve we'll have all of the kids and spouses, grandkids, some inlaws, and even our grand-puppy...  At last count, there'll be 22 of us for dinner. 

     After dinner, Irma and I will sit back and let the whole thing settle.  I'd have a scotch, but I have to be at work at 600 am christmas day, so I'll save that for the weekend...

     Anyway, If I don't write before then, Merry Christmas to all of you...

Clear skies...
Jim

December already?

     I gave in and wrote about stupid FAA tricks last week.  Had I only waited, I would have had much more to write about this week.  Ah well, I'll put last weeks antics in the composting bin and perhaps dig it up in a few weeks after it has finished moldering...

     Imperfect Hope has slowed somewhat, mostly due to shorter writing sessions of late as other things to deal with continue to crop up.  I did give in and do a bit of a rewrite on pieces of Randir's first scene, there were some poorly blocked out sections that just didn't mesh with what I'd written about K'tath culture.  However, in rewriting, I discovered some new questions that I mulled over this week, aspects of the k'tath culture that need detail.

     Basically, I was starting Randir's tale "in media res"  (the story has already started, and I pick up the action in mid-act) during his naming quest.  The naming quest is another aspect of the k'tath that I'd noted decades ago in Brandis' IFGS history, that Kel and Sen went on a quest early in their youth to discover their "true name".  Other than this aspect of k'tath culture existing, I'd never gone beyond "this happened, and so now...".  However, Imperfect Hope offers me a chance to show this detail much more colorfully.

     One idea that emerged from the primordial soup I call "my imagination" was that all K'tath had a childhood name that stayed with them while they were young.  When the time comes for their name quest, their krathen family performs a tiny bit of krathen magic that effectively takes the name from the younglings memory (not completely, but enough that during his journey, he'll have more and more difficulty remembering his child-name until he discovers his adult name, at which point child name is forgotten completely.  I've combined that with the coming of age aspect of the youngling learning whether he will become Krath, Kel, or Sen during the same quest, it is tied in (some as yet undecided way) to the selection/bestowment of the adult name.  In Randir's case, I'm still writing the naming quest scene, so exactly how it comes about is uncertain, I've several ideas competing for the lead right now.  At some point, one will seem to be the best fit, and it will come together.

     This is an aspect of writing that comes up with me rather often.  THough I've the plot line well outlined, event following event etc, I'll be writing, and some small aspect of the scene will take on more and more life as my imagination grabs it and runs with it.  Sometimes it'll be good, sometimes it'll flop badly, and I'll end up dumping several paragraphs during the first draft because it just doesn't fit.  A fair amount of it ends up staying just to see if I can come up with ideas that will make it fit better later. 

     In Randir's opening scene, however, I've pieced together lots of lore from the IFGS D'oril and added much more content.  I'm expounding on the concept that the guardians (Elorna and the others) have moralistic rules that prevent them from interfering directly in the affairs of their chosen people, that the dark guardians (Seta and the others) have the same rules, but are more able/willing to bend them, which tends to give them temporary advantages in the god wars that they wage/play in.  The balance expects that "the bad guys" will cheat, and that "the good guys" have to work extra hard to overcome.  That, in essence, is one of the themes of Imperfect Hope. 

     I think the concept that "the bad guys cheat, and good has to work extra hard as a result" is a hidden theme in many fantasy works.  Sometimes it's hidden under the guise of "evil takes the easier path, but in the end...", sometimes the badguys find a loophole in some natural law.  In my case, I've set up a higher authority that the guardians and dark guardians answer to, this mirrors to some degree basic human civilization.  Criminals ("evil") will bend or break the rules to get what they want, sometimes because they don't care, sometime because they assume they won't be caught, and sometimes just because they want to evoke a little chaos in the world.  Am I equating my dark guardians with criminals?  Not really.  Just pointing out some behavioral similarities.  I think.  I'll have to take half my brain out and have a dialogue with it.....

     Anyway, more to come, I'm sure. 

Clear skies,
Jim

Absent, but busy

    Mea Culpa.  I've been absent for a couple of weeks regarding posting, mostly due to a backlog of chaos.  Irma and I are hoping it's under control again.  We'll see, chaos has a way of following itself up with more chaos.

     The FAA's been busy acting stupid, but hey, why should this month be any different than the last oh, say, 21 years?  Denver Center's staffing continues to drop, and even though traffic is down over last year, we're getting tired.  Having said that, I will also observe that some (okay, many) of the errors that have resulted are as much the result of dumb controller decisions as they are of fatigue.  For those who've not heard me talk about this before, I should explain.  At 'center level', an error occurs when two aircraft within the same altitude stratum (+ or - 1000ft of each other) pass within 5 horizontal miles of each other.  Doesn't sound like much of a problem, except it's the standard we're held to.  An operational error is considered a big deal, one error triggers a review of your skills, more can lead to retraining or practicing your phrase "you want fries with that?". 

     Some errors are just plain dumb luck, the result of a series of small mistakes that end up in an irreversible situation.  Some are just plain Dumb Moves, the result of someone not paying attention or trying to take a chance.  (ever see Pushing Tin?  That movie was (besides just a plain bad example of controllers in general) filled with supposed controllers constantly taking stupid chances.  I tried to watch it, never managed to get more than 10 minutes before I had to turn it off or risk permanent brain trauma).  Anyway, hollywood image aside, Controllers don't last a full career if they continue to take stupid chances.

     However, our illustrious management seems to think every error is the result of someone doing something deliberate.  When the facility has a string of errors (such as this fall, where we've had 6 or so in as many weeks, compared to the usual 1 every month or two), they (upper level managers) feel that "they" have to do something.  The results, imposed on all of the controllers, is always draconian, always pointless, and always punitive.  Thus, fatigued controllers are piled on with mid level managers who are asked to wear their headsets (equipment that they only rarely use) and patrol up and down the aisle, ready to...  "Take that drink off the console, it might spill."  or "Is that aircraft on frequency?  How about now?  now?  How about now???"  or "Um, what's that flashing, you doing something?"  Does upper level management think their mid levels will instantly recognize an error developing, plug in and save the day?  

     It only took me a few minutes to compose myself after reading that last line over.  I suppose more explanation is in order.  In my nearly 22 years of being an air traffic controller, I've never had an operational error.  I suspect half of my coworkers are in the same boat.  There's a core of perhaps 20 percent of the controllers I work with who've had multiple errors, probably accounting for 70% of the facilities errors.  In todays FAA, however, management doesn't look at those who have multiple errors (unless certain conditions are met) and correct their actions.  Instead, they blanket all of us with stupid restrictions and rules that do nothing but increase our stress levels.  It reminds me of junior high, when someone in the back shot a rubber band at the teacher, and as a result, all of the class had to sit silently, doing nothing, until the end of class. 

     So pardon the cynicism.  I'll reemphasize, We've a safe air traffic system.  We're doing our best, with aging equipment and goofy bureaucratic rules and regulations, and guess what?  They system works.  Despite the bureaucracy.  I only hope nationalized health care doesn't follow the path of typical gov't agencies...

     On a writing note, Imperfect Hope continues to grind away slowly.  I finished Cerryn's first two scenes (as a 9 year old), and set in on Randir's first scene (where he obtains his adult name).  I've a lot of depth waiting to be added, and it seems to be the right track.  I'll write more about it later this week, once I get the taste of FAA out of my mouth.

TTFN,
Jim

How background becomes sub-plot...

    Wren Lorus was, despite her name, anything but birdlike.  She was short, probably no taller than Cerryn's middle brother Julius, who stood just over 5 feet tall.  Wren's hair was black, curly, and trimmed just above the nape of her neck, a style that was not common for women of the confederacy.  Cerryn knew that there were a fair number of female questors, but she'd never met one, and had imagined that they probably looked like the Vendarian Guardian statues she'd seen at the temple, long haired and armor clad rather than short and bulky.  Her face was square and hard, her patchwork skin was darker, more scarred and tougher looking than seemed possible. Though the questor was muscular, it was apparent that she had what Cerryn's mother would call "an embarrasment of blessings", a feature that seemed particularly out of place on the squat warrior.  Cerryn's attention was drawn to the livid scar that ran from slightly behind the ear down to the base of her chin.  It was ragged and raw, barely healed, and looked more torn than sliced.  She shuddered as she tried not to imagine what had caused it. 

     In developing Cerryn's past and fleshing out Imperfect Hope, I'm introducing a lot of detail to the questors of the Eagles Forge Monastery.  Wren Loren is an aide to the questor general who has come to Whiteport looking for the questor-candidate shown to him in his visions from Valnar.  Two children, typically aged 9-11, are chosen each year (Cerryn is 8) and are brought to the monastery to begin their training.  Wren, as a senior female questor, will act as a mentor toward Cerryn during her early training at Eagles Forge.  Confederacy (and pre-confederacy kingdoms) traditions hold that only rarely will a child shown to the questor-general turn down the honor, and that the parent's opinions are not heard.  Part of the conflict I'm tossing out early is that Cerryn's father, the Baron of Bruils (and confederacy council-member) would keep his daughter out of the monastery (he's politically/matrimonially motivated).  Cerryn's mother, though she'd much rather keep her daughter out of the questor's life, recognizes that pitfall of trying to create an exception for her own daughter. 

     I'm laying the groundwork for events some 15 years down the road that will lead to the political embarrassment of the baron that will provide the framework for Min's manipulation of the council later on.  The Baron, though nominally a good leader of his realm, has a blindness toward the effects of favoritism, and later on will attempt to influence the path of Remy's career.  The resulting scandal will force the baron to resign from the confederacy council, and bring his (rather more easily manipulated) brother into the council where Min will take advantage of him.

     A lot of this background/subplotting I'd only just skimmed over in the original Imperfect Hope outline, I'd mentioned a scandal, but had done nothing to detail the players/events that led up to it.  I'd only just started fleshing it out as I started deepening the characters around Cerryn's early age.  By tying Cerryn's, Remy's and Baron Nallory's tales together, I'm hoping the story will feel more "real".  I've other background items that are coming forward into the story, presenting opportunities to draw the reader into the tale more deeply, such as why Randir fears the Il'cha bonding so much, and why the walls he puts up between himself and Cerryn cause her to react in the manners I'd put forth already in the first draft.  Having shown her reactions to her brothers similar actions years past, her actions should now make sense without paragraphs of explanation.

If I show the causes clearly enough.
If the causes are memorable enough to be remembered.
If I...  Stop with the IF's already.  Write, Jim, and worry about the details later.

Anyway, lots to work on.  I'd wanted to comment more on the previous weeks posting, and may still later this week (musings on who's reading and why), but for now...

CLear skies,
Jim

Oh, what to write about? (No balloon tales, please)

Unlike many other blogs out there, I won't comment on the obvious.  (I hear a chorus of cheers out there...)

On the other hand, I want to step away from writing commentary for a day or two.  (yes, I'm making progress for those who are worried.)  I scratched my head for quite a while, thinking about what I should write about.  Past topics came to mind, including musings on personality again (but I immediately started linking it to writing, so I dropped it), Adventures in Handymanland (but nothing has broken lately, and all maintenance chores of late have been uneventful things like raking leaves), or the FAA (but I don't want to write about stupid today, so...)  So, forgive me if I meander while I seek a focus.

I've been wondering who has actually been visiting my blog.  I know a couple of you have commented to me, some privately thru email (thanks, Matt), others directly on comments (Art and yarnspinner on wordpress, Lou, Jeff, AML, and others at blogspot).  I know from my statcounter that there are several other regular visitors, but I've never been able to lure them in to comment, or even identify themselves.  I wonder if they are folks I know who want to remain anonymous, or if they are strangers who, for whatever bizarre reason have kept up with these random musings of a slightly mad air traffic controller who imagines himself a writer.  I suppose it's even possible that my mystery visitors are folks who I knew in the past, whom I've lost touch with, and are perhaps curious if "old what's his name" ever did anything with his life.

Statcounter logs visits to my blog and identifies from what part of the country (or world) they have come from through IP identifications.  I'm not convinced it is terribly accurate, for example, when I visit my blog from work, it identifies me as coming from Oklahoma City, OK (which make a bit of sense to me, since a lot of the FAA's computer services are routed through OKC.)  Others seem to jump all around, there's a verizon sourced visitor who's logged as being in Washington State some of the time, California other times.  There are a couple of visitors from the UK (or maybe one who uses two different ISP's).  Someone in Iowa, another in Florida, and...

Then there are the odd visits.  I've had visits from Japan and China, Saudi Arabia (wonder if that's a US serviceman) and a couple of times, visits from Columbia. 

It makes for an interesting puzzle, I've been able to guess who some of the visitors are by linking a posting time for a comment to an ISP listing, except some of your ISP's change IP's regularly.  For example Lou's comments, though they all identify from Denver, have no common IP to label.  Anchorage, on the other hand, is a stable IP, and knowing that, I can tell when my brother visits, even if he doesn't always comment.  If folks don't comment, however, I've no way of identifying them, other than guessing.  My visitor from Iowa for example, I've no idea, there's never been a comment linked to that visit time.  Interestingly, Iowa's ISP name is constant, but for a time this year, according to statcounter, they came from New York.  Unless that's someone else entirely (though I suspect it is the same person, because of the regularity of the visits).  Are we confused yet? 

Is this important?  Not really, except in a curiosity sense.  Some regular visitors I know found me because I emailed most of them and announced my start up.  Others arrived (on wordpress) because of tag-searches (when I label a posting, others who look for posts at wordpress with that label may be directed to my blog).  However, other visit reasons are a complete mystery.

So, I'm going to ask the question for the regular readers who didn't find Doriltales through my direct email contact:  How did you find D'oriltales?, what were you looking for?, and why do you keep returning?  Post a comment, anonymously if you wish, and satisfy the curiosity of this developing writer.  I promise not to use your answers for any illegal or immoral (or even ill-advised) activities.  ;-)

Beyond my own curiosity, I wonder what you want to know about.  My profile is a bit vague, I'm not even sure if anyone's looked at it since I first put it up some two years past.  Thus, part two of my questions, is there anything that you want to ask?  I'll answer most questions, so long as it doesn't involve credit card numbers or the secret rituals of an air traffic controller.  ;-)  Let me know...

Clear skies,
Jim

Progress continued

     Over the weekend, I set in on Cerryn's tale, reenvisioning Imperfect Hope's start by starting the story 20ish years prior to the events at Mud Bay that set the story in motion.  Cerryn, one of the two main protagonists in Imperfect Hope, is an 8 year old baron's daughter, about to be "discovered" by the Questor General of the Eagles Forge Monestary.  She starts the tale looking for her brother, 6 year old Remy, the youngest child of the Nallory clan, leaders of one of the provinces of the Western Marches.  With this beginning, I feel that I'll be able to develop her character more naturally by the time she meets Randir, as well as lay the structure for the sub-plots that are an important part of Imperfect Hope.

     Remy is a new viewpoint character, one who will have a more important role in the events following the end of IH part 1.  I'm introducing him now, however, in order to put into play some of the confederacy politics that I hinted at in IH.  Remy, as youngest son of the Baron, is expected to follow the traditional path of a baron's non-inheriting sons, and serve the Baronry as a military commander.  However, this youngster, it turns out, is drawn to the see, and at a crux point in his story (prior to Mud Bay and concurrent to a political time bomb that Nestor sets off that discredits Cerryn's family.)  Remy, by going to sea with one of the trade houses, turns his back on family politics, but his role in IH part two will have impact on the Empire's plot. 

     Meanwhile, I'm going to develop Randir in a similar method to Remy and Cerryn.  Developing the character of a k'tath over time will make the character more personal, and will give me a chance to exhibit the major differences in Humanish and K'tath cultures.  I'll be able to introduce the concept of Il'cha mates, which will go a long way toward explaining his attitudes toward the developing relationship with Cerryn late in Imperfect Hope.  Cerryn's attitudes will also be developed in her own story. 

     As I mentioned, I tossed my early effort to write Cindas opening frame story, at least until I can have finished first draft of the early part of the tale and have a better understanding of what I am framing.  So, with the tossing out of 850 words, I still managed a net gain of nearly 3000 words over the weekend, and I spent quite a bit of my writing time polishing up some storyline concepts, so it wasn't all writing.  It may not seem like much, but my attitude is positive, and my outlook is hopeful (if imperfect).  Now to deflect those electrons...  (so I don't get negative...  ;-)   )

     Unrelated to writing, I'm fighting an urge to comment on the stupidity of recent FAA moves...  For now, I'll just say that, even though I agree that we need to drag our atc system into the 21'st century with some much needed upgrades, the way they're going about it is incredibly dense.  But I guess I expect that, after 22 years in the FAA, my cynicism is well founded.  The bureaucracy of the federal Gov't just doesn't lend itself to well-thought out improvements.  Instead, we're getting a radar/computer suite shoved down our throats, the interface of which was designed by software designers who have little to no real experience on what is important to an air traffic controller.  As a result, if/when ERAM is implemented, I will be able to demonstrate 5 different ways to print out NOTAMS (notices to airmen)(something I've never had a need to do in 20+ years), but nearly every command I use to call up important information that I typically need in seconds, (and that I can now do with a button push, 3 numbers on a keypad, and a mouse click) will require anywhere from 2-4 menu/scroll downs/mouse clicks on different parts of a 30 inch computer screen, and sometimes a half dozen + keystrokes on the keyboard.  ARGGGH!

     Anyway...  Don't worry, the controllers will make it work.  We'll just end up sitting in a corner at night after our shifts, rocking back and forth and babbling... Oh, I already do that.....  ;-)

TTFN
Jim

False starts, new starts.

     Last weekend, I put in some good time writing on saturday by starting in on what I'd envisioned would be the new starting point for Imperfect Hope.  I continued the experiment that concluded my first draft of IH by beginning with Cinda's first person, folksy viewpoint providing a revised frame story for the entire IH series.  However, by the time I'd finished writing that night, I began to have second thoughts about the experiment.

     Cinda's viewpoint, as a frame story for IH v-1, seemed to work.  Her voice brought an immediate sense of some of what was going on, and as the closing scene for IH, part one, felt like a good, emotional cliff hanger.  However, as the beginning frame for events taking place 20 years earlier, it lacks impact.  Perhaps this is because I wrote the frame story for v-1 after I'd finished the first draft, and this time I was starting with the frame.  Perhaps it just isn't the start I needed.  Regardless, I was very unsatisfied, and sunday afternoon I deleted the scene and toyed with other ideas.

     After tossing around a mental football, I decided I'd write the first draft of Cerryn, Randir, and Remy's tales (they lead in to the old start of IH by showing the main characters as they develop) without building the frame first, and then go back and see if first person Cinda can then frame the story successfully.  While I tossed around ideas, I put together a more detailed time line for each of the main characters, and revisited my outline/scenes.  IH v-2 is back on the front burner.

     One change I'm making to my working habits this time around is that I'm giving my Inner Critic a more active role.  The pre-story I'm working on is essentially another first draft that I'm tacking on to IH v-1, but I'm going to let myself revise this time around.  I'll also work on first rewrite of IH v-1 on occasion, though I'm going to go slowly, rather than a rewrite, I'm going to tweak some revisions in as I make changes to the storyline in part one.  I'm still planning to do a complete rewrite, but that will begin as I finish up part one and have a complete story to do.

     Another plan, as I start getting some rewritten scenes finished, I'll be looking for some readers to give me some initial comments.  Rather than post my story online (which messes with some aspects of selling first publication rights should I succeed in getting a saleable product), I'll email segments to individuals who are interested.  I've gotten a couple of offers for help over the last year, but I'll make an official volunteer solicitation announcement later this fall when I'm ready.  In the meantime, I'll toss out excerpts once in a while...

     As I mentioned, vacation left my head more clear than it has been in months.  It's amazing how much mental clutter I pick up from the day to day routine of being an air traffic controller.  I hope Irma and I get a chance to take some weekend mini-vacations in the coming months to keep my head unmuddled.  Maybe we'll go visit the Stanley Hotel and see if the ghosts want to come out and play again...  ;-)

     Anyway, ATC duties call, so time to step away from the keyboard...

TTFN
Jim